Money

Sharing is caring

By Lorna - 06/04/2023 22:00

Today, I got a 15% pay raise. My parents responded by saying, “Congratulations! You can now forget about online shopping packages coming in on a weekly basis and start chipping in for rent and utilities!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 1 149

Entitled

By Anonymous - 04/04/2023 22:00

Today, my redneck mother, who I parted ways from years ago, found out I became wealthy in my 30s so she turned up at my house, thinking she could just move in. Then she tried to demand the money I owed for giving birth to me, and camped on my lawn until I called the cops, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 101

Bribery

By disneydummy - 04/04/2023 00:00

Today, my overly religious family told me that if I, an atheist, went to church with them, they’d buy me a season pass to Disneyland. I dutifully sat through the entire two hour sermon. I didn’t get the tickets. They lied to get me into church, but don’t see the irony of lying being a sin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 278

Broke

By Pauper - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I talked myself out of buying $1 candle at the Dollar Tree. That's how broke I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 341

You deserved it 4 476

Mysterious

By Anonymous - 29/03/2023 22:00

Today, I woke up with severe back pain and about $100 missing from my paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 155

How can I stay mad at you?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my dog had chewed up my brand new, expensive pair of shoes. I was so angry that I yelled at him and he cowered in fear. But then, as I looked at his sad little face, it dawned on me that I was the one in the wrong for getting so upset over something materialistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 958

Gamba

By F your brackets - 26/03/2023 12:00 - United States - Miami

Today, my boyfriend is 34 years-old. We’ve been together for 5 years. He refuses to propose to me because “marriage is expensive” and “kids drain your wallet.” That would be understandable if he hasn’t spent the majority of his paychecks on March Madness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 365

The cost of living (comfortably)

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 11:00 - Australia

Today, I woke up with a bad headache yet again. I've tried changing pillows, mattresses, lifestyle changes, gotten massages, been to different doctors, gotten MRIs, been to a chiropractor and theaphysio. The only thing that worked was the physio, but my circumstances changed and I can no longer afford it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 87

This is fine

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 00:00

Today, I hopped on a tram without a ticket to travel one stop in order to save 5 minutes off my walk. Instead, I got a $230 fine and ended up 15 minutes further away from my destination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 1 521

False economy

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tried to save money by buying a generic brand of coffee instead of my usual brand. It tasted terrible and I ended up throwing it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 336

It's the thought that counts

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 00:00

Today, I drove two hours to secretly buy an antique book my wife has been looking for for 30 years since her childhood copy was lost in a house fire. There was one other guy there interested in buying it, we were both cash buyers but with one difference: I was the one who forgot his wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 336

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 21/03/2023 00:00

Today, I’m too damn nice. I bought a cart of groceries for someone who was asking for help buying food outside a grocery store, so now I get to deal with the self-hatred that comes with being too nice for my own good. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 756

Countdown

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 02:00

Today, I finally got all of my finances to move out of my house. My mother, instead of being happy for me for moving out of her house, blames me because she needs my rent money, states I will not be happy out in the world and disowned me because I didn't move out when she wanted me to. She wanted me to stay until she was 55. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 86

Contempt

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 06:00

Today, I cannot believe my husband. All he had to do was contest a bogus parking ticket but because he's incapable of keeping his fat mouth shut, now he’s going to jail for contempt of court. He will lose his job because of this, guaranteed, and we have two kids to support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 207

Golddigger

By back to cock-hunting - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Burnaby

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 815

You deserved it 5 166

The neverending dinner

By Anonymous - 18/03/2023 14:00

Today, I was so excited to finally try a new recipe that I found online. After hours of prep, I realized I misread the serving size and ended up cooking enough food to feed a small army. I don't have a freezer and I live in the middle of nowhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 608

Hard times all around

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 00:00

Today, I learnt that I am going to have to cut back on what is already a skinny budget to afford my kid's childcare cost increase. I earn in the 97th percentile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 260

People will always need plumbers

By ThisIsYourDoc - 15/03/2023 14:00

Today, my hourly wage as a doctor is exactly 80 cents more than the hourly wage of my friend's, who did an apprenticeship with no extra diploma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 264

A disappointing evening

By Jaxx - 15/03/2023 07:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I went to various attractions in Singapore throughout the day. Then, I visited Singapore Night Safari, a zoo with a theme at night. Besides dozing off throughout the train excursion, my night blindness ultimately prevented me from seeing more than 40% of the creatures. The ticket cost me USD$40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 757

Inheritance issues

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 11:00 - United States - Tatum

Today, my 16 year-old son has to sue his great uncle and step aunt for theft and extortion of his father's estate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 94

Gig economy

By Doordean - 13/03/2023 12:00

Today, the dean of the university I go to delivered a DoorDash order to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 137

Scammed

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 05:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I noticed my credit score increased by 30 points. Not understanding why, I checked credit karma and found out someone opened several credit cards in my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 86

Creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Tobyhanna

Today, I had to explain to my father that when my friends sleep over, it's not acceptable to sneak into my room in the middle of the night and dig through their stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 972

You deserved it 4 513

Heavy sleeper

By tootles - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was kicked out of my parents' house, so I ended up sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I was then awoken by a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 631

You deserved it 6 377

Respect

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 15:00

Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 203

Inflation blows

By jules - 02/03/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, I decided I don’t need to restrict my consumption of shrimp anymore, which I used to do because they are so expensive. So, did I finally land a well-paying job? Nope. It's just that all the other kinds of seafood have risen so much in price that it doesn’t make any difference now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 133

Thank you for your service

By alek - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. It wasn't too bad, until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 367

You deserved it 3 767

Wanker

By sourgirl101 - 01/03/2023 06:00

Today, while buying lottery tickets, I mixed up "jackpot" and "scratch off" and asked for "$10 worth of jackoffs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 554

Leech

By HadEnough - 28/02/2023 22:30 - India - Hyderabad

Today, I asked my husband to be a little more responsible, pick up after himself, and spend a little less. I earn more than he does, so it's usually my money that he splurges. He has gone on a non-stop tantrum for the past 5 hours, giving me the cold shoulder, and shouting at me. What have I gotten myself into? FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 196

I just work here

By Mario - 28/02/2023 14:00

Today, a lady came in screaming at me, demanding to see my manager and asked for the “corporate office” phone number. She had received a letter from the IRS stating that she owes $8,000. She threatened to “sue me dry” if I didn’t “take the charges off.” I simply man the front desk at the tax services office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 90

Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Work Christmas Cute Am I overreacting? Holidays Cats Gifts Awkward Shopping Hair Friends Health Relatable Poopoo peepee Education Money Gross Animals Cops Sex Intimacy Neighbours Smells Love Painful First Dates Grieving Social Media

The Top

Today, our roof collapsed due to water damage. I had saved the money to get the roof fixed months ago, but my wife saw a scare story about gas stoves and demanded we spend the money getting every gas-powered appliance ripped out and replaced. That new HVAC system will work great in a condemned house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 194

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 786

You deserved it 22 717

The Top

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 718

You deserved it 13 274

Today, in my journalism class, after trying hard to find some actual news to comment, we ended up talking about gay porn and fashion designers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 477

You deserved it 21 101

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 965

You deserved it 33 464

Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 81

Today, I was feeling suicidal and needed to talk to someone about it, so I called up the only person in the world who cares about me: my mom. Or so I thought. Her immediate response was, “You should go ahead and end it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 144

Today, I learned that the gentleman who found my wallet was not satisfied with the $300 cash and forged a check for a washer and dryer. I found out when I checked my account. It cleared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 418

You deserved it 175