Money

Jingle bells

By LonelyThisChristmas - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my stepmum told me that the Christmas dinner she is cooking tomorrow will cost £25 a head. I laughed because I thought she was joking. She wasn't. Now I'm spending Christmas alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 656

You deserved it 801

Never buy new cars

By Anonymous - 23/12/2022 03:00 - United States - Barberton

Today, I took a sharp turn and hit a pillar and damaged my car's back door. I don't know how much it will cost and if I'll be able to afford it. Should I also mention that the car is 3 months old? FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 909

From second to third hand

By Olivia - 23/12/2022 03:00

Today, I wanted to sell some Jordan sneakers on OfferUp. I met up with the buyer in a parking lot. The friendly looking lady buying them said, “Thanks for the shoes, bitch!” then a guy come out, punched me, grabbed the shoes, and they both hauled ass. People saw and did nothing. There goes my kids’ Christmas gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 227

There's gold to be mined

By ChristmasIsRuined - 20/12/2022 00:00

Today, I found out that my husband has been seeing another woman and my 16 year-old daughter once caught them while I was at work. She didn’t tell me about it because she was enjoying all the hush gifts, shoes, purses, and the payments for her BMW X3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 163

Really wants the set of plates

By Rasta Pickles - 17/12/2022 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I spent £107 filling wife's car up with fuel. When I get home she says "don't forget we have to fill my car up at Tesco at the weekend". "I've already done it at Asda earlier" I say. "You stupid dumb idiot" she says, "I wanted it filled up at Tesco so I could get Clubcard points". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 240

You are the chosen one

By Me. - 16/12/2022 03:00

Today, a cat appeared in my basement. I have cats, but not an orange one. I don't know where he came in from. I can hardly afford the two cats and dogs I already have, so keeping him is not an option, not to mention he could have a disease. But it's winter, and I feel like crap for having to kick him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 244

Random update?

By Anonymous - 11/12/2022 18:00

Today, since it was payday, I figured I’d take my mom out for burgers. The bank also decided to do a random update on our debit card, resulting in my card declining three times. My mom ended up having to pay for our meals. So much for trying to treat my mom out to dinner. I’m still pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 128

Healthy parenting skills

By Ghost1986 - 10/12/2022 22:00 - Australia - Moonah

Today, my ex-wife tried to hit me up for money for a skip bin, because the kids' room was too messy. She then sent me a picture of the mess after I said no, then I retaliated by submitting a report to child services against her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 557

Plumes

By Anonymous - 09/12/2022 06:00

Today, I picked up a carton of cigarettes for my stepfather from the store. He smokes the equivalent of nearly half my paycheck a fortnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 183

Tipped off

By MicachuPikachu - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Independence

Today, to make it seem like customers actually liked me, I told my coworkers I got tipped $12. Sadly, that "$12 tip" came out of my own pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 362

You deserved it 14 029

Anger management

By Emily - 07/12/2022 18:00

Today, I was mad at my boyfriend, so I yanked the power cord for his computer while he was gaming. Turns out, that fried part of his computer and now it won't turn on. He broke up with me, even after I apologized, and offered to replace the part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 2 468

One, two, three, four…

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 00:00 - Canada

Today, I thought I was having a nice day at work, until I had a client who paid me $376 in rolls made of 0.05 and 0.10. It took me an hour to count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 107

In the red

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 18:00

Today, I did the math: if I wiped out my savings account, the joint account I have with my husband, as well as the savings accounts I started for nieces and nephews to pay for student loans, I would only owe $41,000 more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 302

God ain't paying my bills

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 18:00

Today, at my catering job, a woman left me a fake £10 note as a tip, which was actually one of those stupid invitations to attend her church, since "God is more valuable than cash." I have two kids and a wealthy ex refusing to pay support, so I’d have preferred no tip at all instead of this bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 158

I was right there

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 12:00

Today, I called a Lyft to go to work. I got dressed and even watched him finish his previous ride. We all know you have a 5 minutes window. It wasn’t even 5 minutes in when he cancelled my ride. Now I’m late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 328

The road to Hell…

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 23:00 - Venezuela

Today, I went out of my way to get my significant other some medicine for his mom. Said medicine is very expensive, and since I didn't have the cash, I agreed to work every major holiday in December in exchange for the medicine. My SO didn't even bother to say thanks, and ghosted me after I gave the meds to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 159

Forgive them all

By fuckall - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I worked out that if I paid the minimum monthly amount on my student loans, I'd be paying them until I'm 65. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 303

You deserved it 5 987

Gratitude walks

By wasted money - 30/11/2022 16:00 - Australia

Today, I generously paid for my best friend to go to an event she's wanted to see her whole life. Instead of thanking me, she brought her children and made me pay for them too, complained that I hadn't chosen the seats she wanted, then blamed me when she got on the wrong train back to her hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 202

Chancer

By deathstar3548 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Orlando

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 445

You deserved it 3 555

Mandatory BIKES!

By Anonymous - 30/11/2022 16:00

Today, I wanted to experience the free breeze while riding on my bike, so I skipped wearing a helmet for the first time in a long while. I got fined just two minutes after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 169

Thicker than water

By Anonymous - 30/11/2022 10:00

Today, my fiancée's druggie sister turned up, but I shut the door in her face because the last time she was here £200 went missing and my floor safe had fresh scratches from someone trying and failing to pick the lock. The argument with my fiancée afterwards was so bad, she’s no longer my fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 136

Never enough

By Anonymous - 29/11/2022 00:00

Today, my boyfriend bitched about the fact that I hadn't purchased parking to attend the football game I got us tickets for as his birthday present ($750). I purchased parking for $190 and now he’s bitching that I didn’t buy pregame passes - another $170! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 171

Karen moment

By dumbwifehappylife - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Woodbine

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 727

You deserved it 5 066

Go fund me not

By Danny28 - 27/11/2022 18:00

Today, I discovered that, according to her primary doctor, my mom never had cancer. That explains why she has the new iPhone, a plethora of designer purses, and a brand new Tesla. Turns out, I’ve been fueling her shopping spree habit, rather than her “cancer and chemotherapy treatments.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 135

Social parasites

By Anonymous - 26/11/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was rejected from the 25th rental I applied to in the last two months. I give up. Guess I'm stuck living with my mother forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 129

But I neeeeed my things

By ... - 26/11/2022 00:00

Today, after lecturing my daughter about being responsible with her money, she got a package from Amazon. What was in it? A lamp shaped like toast. She already has a lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 214

Xmas stress

By Anonymous - 25/11/2022 06:00 - Germany

Today, besides the fact that I hate Christmas since my parents divorced, my mom told me she can't come this year with my sister because of no money. We even offered to pay for their tickets, but she won't come because of the "last minute" stress. Fuck this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 140

Stolen valour

By Anonymous - 25/11/2022 02:00

Today, after my husband refused to donate to Children in Need because it’s a "waste of money", he came home with swords and shields so he and our son could "wage war in the garden like knights". I wanted to donate £20, the swords and shields cost £500 at least, but I’m the one wasting money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 326

Tired of cooking for you ungrateful lot

By Anonymous - 23/11/2022 04:00 - United States - Utica

Today, our freezer was full because my Dad got a free turkey from work. Thing is, my mom bought a pre-made ham, even though she knows my dad brings home a turkey every year. Why? Because of all the prep work that goes into making the turkey, including clearing out the kitchen, and throwing it into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 214

The blame game

By Shattered - 23/11/2022 02:00

Today, my brother got mad at me for breaking the screen on his phone. He'd already dropped it so many times that the whole screen was cracked to the point that you couldn't see anything on it, but for some reason, I am fully responsible for its destruction because I accidentally delivered the finishing blow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 191

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 786

You deserved it 22 717

Today, I discovered that my supervisor, who I thought liked me, actually thinks I'm incompetent and lack emotional intelligence. I'm a student nurse and I've just listed her as my reference for our single, statewide job application. There's no way to change it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 803

You deserved it 1 296

The Top

Today, I mentioned to my parents that, considering the state of the world, the government needs to get its act together and ban guns, gas cars, meat, animal products, and plastic, among other things. They threatened to kick me out, saying I should "go live with the other dumbass hippies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 2 084

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 669

You deserved it 7 572

Today, I wanted to clean my house. Of course the vacuum cleaner got stuck behind furniture multiple times. After the fifth time or so, I gave it a good pull. Now my vacuum cleaner is broken and the socket is off the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 1 005

Today, I found my dad on a dating website looking for younger girls. My mother and father are "happily" married, well according to her Facebook profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 902

You deserved it 1 525

Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 362

You deserved it 3 265

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 383

You deserved it 3 643