School

It's a sign...

By Ohfknhell - 16/05/2018 05:00

Today, I received a package from Amazon that was supposed to contain the book I needed for my open book final exam tonight. They must have mixed up my order, because the box contained a large pink dildo. I think the universe just told me to get fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 664

You deserved it 759

By Debra - 14/05/2018 13:00 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I had the class clown of my preschoolers oversleep our daily 15-minute nap. Not wanting to spare any more class time on his disrupting jokes, I let the headache sleep. After another 10 minutes we called an ambulance. He had a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 009

You deserved it 1 019

By Anonymous - 14/05/2018 05:00

Today, I went to a guy's dorm for the first time. He told me to wait outside for a minute because he had to "clean something up" first. When I told him I'm 420 friendly, he said, "Nah I just came on my desk earlier and didn't feel like wiping it up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 817

You deserved it 731

By Anonymous - 27/04/2018 20:30

Today, my child's kindergarten teacher told me that my child said, "My mom drinks wine and lays down." I don't drink alcohol, although at times I drink juice in a wine glass. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm an alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 811

You deserved it 644

By mom - 26/04/2018 15:00

Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 432

You deserved it 613

By UnicornPancake - 25/04/2018 15:00

Today, I had to dress like a diva for a drama performance and my friend said I looked like a hooker. Then someone said, “If hookers looked like that, they wouldn't get any money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 500

You deserved it 431

By Anonymous - 24/04/2018 15:00

Today, my son was expelled from school for bullying. The event in question took place off campus, during spring break, and was a friendly scuff. The iPhone video they used as evidence clearly showed the other boy laughing his head off and both of them sharing a coke afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 888

You deserved it 450

By Lightlysalted - 19/04/2018 19:00

Today, I was invited to a special meal for receiving a scholarship from my college. My mom refuses to take me because “your sister’s going there too and didn’t get a scholarship; it wouldn’t be fair to her.” I guess fairness doesn’t apply to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 288

You deserved it 236

By Acu7519 - 16/04/2018 15:00

Today, at my job as a 2nd grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 200

You deserved it 851

Regrettable fashion choices

By Savingforplasticsurgery - 14/04/2018 19:00

Today, at work, I heard a child whisper, "Mom, why do that woman's ears look like that?" The mom replied, "Because she's not smart enough for a good job." I have large plug ears and a degree in mechanical engineering. I waitress because no engineering firm will hire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 425

You deserved it 2 483

By horribletimeeverywhere74747 - 11/04/2018 13:00 - United States - Navarre

Today, the girl who'd asked me to prom told me she assumed we weren't going together and is now going with her friends. After agreeing to go with her, I'd bought a $200 non-refundable suit along with the ticket. I have no one else to go with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 569

You deserved it 392

By Anonymous - 11/04/2018 15:00

Today, I found the special needle I needed yesterday for a school biology project. I found it by walking around barefoot at 5 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 858

You deserved it 863

By Imthatfirstguy1 - 10/04/2018 15:00

Today, I owe about $18,000 for a useless degree. Why? I graduated in 2016 from the ITT Technical Institute, a few months before the school shut down for good. The kicker? They misspelled my name on the diploma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 648

You deserved it 484

By Robert - 06/04/2018 05:00 - United States - North Pole

Today, my high school speech therapist introduced me to the other autistic kid in school without fully informing either of us. We got into a fist fight because we each thought the other guy was imitating us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 957

You deserved it 705

April Fool

By larry_richard - 04/04/2018 18:00 - United States

Today, I was told an assignment that was supposed to be due in a week and a half is due today. I crammed all night and ended up getting 3 hours of sleep. Turns out it was an April Fool's prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 307

You deserved it 735

By Anonymous - 04/04/2018 01:30

Today, while visiting my son at university, I noticed a funky smell in his room. He admitted to not changing his bedsheets since he moved in 2.5 years ago. I’ve raised an animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 423

You deserved it 700

By notyouraverage - 03/04/2018 19:00

Today, I was doing a PowerPoint presentation in front of my whole class, when I accidentally clicked on the folder that has zillions of pictures of my crush. He's one of my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 468

You deserved it 6 948

By anamanaguchi - 31/03/2018 01:30

Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 480

You deserved it 363

By Lovers lost... - 24/03/2018 19:00

Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 4 869

By RipperoniPizza - 22/03/2018 23:50

Today, my best friend, who I've had a crush on for over 2 years, and who I could describe as unattainable, asked me out on a date. It went great and ended with an amazing kiss. Then she texted that she thinks she actually likes girls. She's unattainable, alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 117

You deserved it 382

RipperoniPizza tells us more.

RipperoniPizza 19

Thursday 22 March 2018 21:15

OP here. I'm pretty surprised this got published, it's my one and only fml that I've ever made. It's actually a pretty long story, we've kinda both had a thing for each other and actually dated for a very brief time before (never kissed though hence the "amazing" first kiss between us) but she didn't think she was comfortable and decided that maybe we should just stay friends. I was perfectly ok with that, but then she asked me out on the date and I thought that maybe she was actually ready this time. Nope! However, things are definitely confusing as she has started flirting with me again so it's kind of seeming like she might be interested again. I still have feelings for her and I probably always will, but I'm not wanting to play games anymore. Also, as for her change in sexuality, whether it's permanent for a "phase" or whatever, I definitely won't ruin her reputation or anything, like I said, it's my best friend that I would do a lot for. Some of these comments are great too! Thanks