School

By Crispy cripple - 05/09/2018 18:30

Today, my dorm's fire alarm went off. In the rush to escape, I slipped and fell off my bunk bed, breaking my ankle in two places. Crying, I told my roommates I needed help to walk. They shrugged and left after mentioning that I would slow them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 278

You deserved it 285

By What did I do wrong? - 04/09/2018 18:30 - United States - Manhattan

Today at university, I saw a girl on crutches struggling to make it up the stairs to the dining center. Feeling sympathetic, I politely offered to help her with her bags, and she declined. By declined, I mean she maced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 945

You deserved it 191

Zaps you dead

By FirstWeekFail - 04/09/2018 18:30

Spicy

Today, I was bitching to my mom on the phone about the long, boring paper assignment my Lit professor gave us. Right after saying, "That woman needs to get laid" I heard laughter behind me. I turned around. Hello professor, just on my way to drop the course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 3 223

By Sleuth - 02/09/2018 13:00

Today, I found out why my professor accused me of not handing in an important essay before the due date. Apparently she spilled coffee all over it and didn't dare to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 306

You deserved it 166

I'm never coming out of here

By hcditfi5foygy - 31/08/2018 20:30

Today, I went to my dorm's community bathroom to do my business. After releasing the Kraken, as I was wiping, I accidentally let go of the toilet paper. Instead of the toilet, it hit the floor in the next stall. Someone was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 439

You deserved it 574

That's a lot of damage!

By Stressed_Out_Student - 29/08/2018 22:00

Today, I had to do a still life of a pillowcase for my drawing class. To make up for bad grades I've gotten before, I followed my professor's directions to a T. He took 19 points off because I drew the background when no one else did. We have to do it for every piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 898

You deserved it 276

By despacito - 28/08/2018 23:30

Today, my brother stole my hard drive and wiped it. My hard drive had a 10-page school project on it. The project is due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 376

You deserved it 259

There goes the neighborhood

By Backtoschool - 28/08/2018 15:00

Today, while preparing to move into my dorm, I received two e-mails from the campus police. The first stated that there had been 76 overdoses from a synthetic drug reported around campus this week and the second said there had been a stabbing on campus this morning. Happy back to school to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 319

You deserved it 187

By ChinaWillOwnUs - 27/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was warned that I was failing too many students and it had to stop, so I showed my boss all of the easy assignments a lot of students didn't even turn in. She told me to stop using so many "big words" in them. I teach at a four year University. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 796

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 25/08/2018 20:30

Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with four departments at my college due to a mistake on my tuition bill. The last guy I talked to told me to call the financial aid office and hung up before I could respond. That was the first office I called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 681

You deserved it 161

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 943

You deserved it 259

Baby steps

By Anonymous - 24/08/2018 13:00

Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 2 831

By rune breaker - 23/08/2018 22:05

Today, I got the hiccups during an exam. I wasn't allowed to leave to get a drink of water, so I had to sit there and take my test while hiccuping violently. The teacher ended up sending me to the hall and ripping up my test for "distracting the other students". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 527

You deserved it 231

RIP

By MrsFart - 18/08/2018 01:30

Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 615

You deserved it 1 789

By raiden - 17/08/2018 20:30

Today, it's my first day of high school. It's also my first day of a three-day in-school suspension. The reason? I sat next to a girl and she immediately got up and told the teacher that she didn't "feel safe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 946

You deserved it 224

By rocks_hurt - 16/08/2018 13:00

Today, I rushed to catch my bus and arrived as it pulled up, but one of the tires threw a rock at my head and knocked me out. I missed my bus and the final that I am not allowed to retake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 191

You deserved it 256

I'm doing the thing

By Anonymous - 16/08/2018 03:30

Today, I failed a final presentation. My partner, who did none of the research, presented the entire project, talking over me and glaring when I spoke up. He denied everything and the professor didn't believe me. Now I have to retake this class with the same professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 608

You deserved it 287

By Ana - 14/08/2018 01:30

Today, while fighting with a girl I hate, my nose piercing got a little loose and I ended up snorting it in. That same girl had to take me to the hospital for surgery. She told everyone afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 1 166

By Anonymous - 13/08/2018 18:30

Today, I was in school when a guy grabbed my breast, so I swore at him and shoved him away. I got detention and he walked away unpunished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 839

You deserved it 243

By sadCowboysfan - 13/08/2018 10:29 - Canada - Ajax

Today, there was a swim competition at my college. During my race, my speedo started slipping. Not wanting to lose for the team, I kept going even after it came off. After my turn, I had to wait on the deck, totally naked, because coaches can’t help the swimmers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 304

You deserved it 679

sadCowboysfan tells us more.

sadCowboysfan 20

Friday 15 June 2018 2:36

OP here to answer some questions: yes I am in college and over 18, yes I stood on the deck totally naked (I’m not ashamed if people see my penis), yes there was MAJOR shrinkage and most importantly we won! My school newspaper asked me afterwards if I’d let them use the photos they took on their website (provided they blurred out my junk). It was pretty embarrassing but it wasn’t too bad cause we won

Great

By Jordan - 10/08/2018 14:00 - United States - Boulder

Spicy

Today, I met the guy who will be my dorm roommate for the fall semester. One of the first things he said was, "By the way, I'm into self-massage, so don't get weirded out if you hear noises coming from my room a lot." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 994

You deserved it 196

Well shit.

By Trist - 09/08/2018 14:30

Today, after moving 1,400 miles across the country, quitting my full-time job, and selling most of my furniture to attend flight school, I got a call a month before my start date saying that they are closing my location. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 342

You deserved it 184

Excuse you?

By done - 07/08/2018 11:30 - United States - North Las Vegas

Today, after spending years volunteering at community theatres and being accepted into a prestigious university for theatrical design, my public high school gave me a scholarship. All my mother could say was "I'm sorry they wasted their money on you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 274

You deserved it 211

By arrow - 30/07/2018 19:00

Today, my math teacher decided to give everyone in the class candy. He skipped me, and when another student pointed it out, his response was, "I don’t like her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 581

You deserved it 376

By TrappedInSchool - 28/07/2018 12:30 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, I found out that my parents lied to me about my GPA so they could go back on our agreement of "3.0 or above or summer school" and had no intention of honoring the agreement anyway. I've been in summer school doing catch-up for kicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 706

You deserved it 501

By marray - 23/07/2018 12:46 - United States - Aurora

Today, I received a grade of 0 for a paper I worked really hard on. When I emailed my professor for feedback, she told me she gave me a 0 because I misspelled Colombia as "Columbia" and that she's not responsible for my low IQ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 946

You deserved it 646

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Keywords

Love My ex Awkward Jealousy Friends AITA Embarrassing Health Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

Today, my husband returned from a 6-week business trip. During that time, I put myself on a very strict diet/exercise regimen so I could surprise him with a hefty weight loss. He took one look at me and demanded to know who I was fucking on the side. Yeah, because that’s the only reason I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 152

You deserved it 231

The Top

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 177

You deserved it 805

Today, I had a job interview for a position at a police station. I asked to use the restroom and accidentally opened the wrong door, locking myself in a stairwell. I had to knock on the door until somebody let me out. Safe to say I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 192

Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 118

Today, I’m going to the pre-op appointment for my second hip replacement before the age of 35. My first was at 23. The doctors have no idea why I have the arthritic hips of an 80 year-old. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 84

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 755

You deserved it 56 777

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 451

You deserved it 3 962