Virginity and Intimacy: Absolute beginners - FML

Absolute beginners

By dancerr2210 - 09/06/2010 04:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 264

You deserved it 6 968

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Same thing different taste

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 847

You deserved it 6 146

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 056

You deserved it 59 309

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Spicy

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 022

You deserved it 6 086

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 953

You deserved it 3 070

By EliseV - 03/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Chino Hills

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 954

You deserved it 6 002

Testing the waters

By Anonymousss95 - 10/12/2011 12:03 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 705

You deserved it 13 391

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 325

You deserved it 38 087

By Mini-wanker - 18/10/2011 17:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 541

You deserved it 8 865

By Alicia - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 381

You deserved it 6 347

Not a great start

By anon - 05/06/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 212

Next

Top comments

lahp 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:00

thats what you get for dating 6 year olds....

ThatLooksSticky 16

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:27

Making out is kissing (each other's lips), and maybe "heavy petting" or "groping." Oral sex is using your mouth on another person's genitals, which usually aren't located on the face.

Comments

krazykiya12095 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 7:22

lmao hahaa

heatherfeather 4

Thursday 10 June 2010 7:32

what a nerd.

Misguided_Ghost 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 7:41

why would you try to convince "him" that "he's" a virgin?

Misguided_Ghost 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 7:46

ohhhhhhhh, hahah nevermind. :D I read it wrong, dumb mee. (; lol.

mrzero 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 9:31

#7 why she need a new BF??? beacues he was a virgin???? FYL n really need one

m1x3d 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 14:08

fyl u should have told him he wasn't a virgin and then had sex..mane people don't think!

FTW_WTF 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 17:03

OP... are you dating someone who is mentally challenged?

Ultimate_Cynic 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 19:58

The stupid, it is strong in this thread. Oh, and concerning OP's boyfriend, I blame it on the likelihood of a strict christian upbringing. I am consistently amazed that ignorance is not one of their seven holy virtues.

itskait 0

Friday 11 June 2010 0:18

wait so, if sex is only by penis penitration, than that means all lesbians are still virgins.

rockscheer101 0

Friday 11 June 2010 4:55

how is this an FML??

icantbelieveit1 0

Friday 11 June 2010 5:28

..... OP get a new BF as soon as possible. smh.... ydi for having an immature boyfriendd.

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Keywords

Surprise Love Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Parents Weekend Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, after I caught my (now ex) boyfriend cheating. He told me that it isn't my business if he was seeing other woman, because we didn't had an official relationship. We have been living together in a house we bought, for two years now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 619

You deserved it 150

Today, while we were at a museum I like, my wife told me she was “in the mood” so we quickly drove home, where she suddenly “wasn’t in the mood anymore.” I get the feeling she was bored with the museum, and lied to me to come home earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 235

The Top

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 438

You deserved it 3 766

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 612

You deserved it 5 712

Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 975

You deserved it 41 134

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 840

You deserved it 6 159

Today, I was working at our garage sale with my dad. I sat outside for 2 hours, talked to three people, and sold nothing. My dad came outside and got angry at me, so I told him to give it a shot. He sold 3 things to the first guy who walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 048

You deserved it 1 036

Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 428

You deserved it 1 729