Intimacy: Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with...

By schooyou101 - 04/12/2012 00:53 - United States - Prairie Village

Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 873

You deserved it 3 967

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/01/2011 19:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 809

You deserved it 43 599

Turn off

By whatdoesitmatter - 01/10/2013 10:47 - India - Erayu

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 179

You deserved it 12 010

By kevdev - 09/09/2010 19:58 - United States

Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 749

You deserved it 9 354

Out of it

By damn you Ambien - 03/08/2016 05:48 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part is that I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 384

You deserved it 2 801

Secretive

By whattheHellman - 23/10/2022 09:00 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 125

The creepy guy next door

By Anonymous - 05/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 109

You deserved it 4 483

By DJ - 11/12/2011 01:01 - United States

Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 209

You deserved it 2 860

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 18:15 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 748

You deserved it 1 657

Creepy Susan

By pretty_coin - 23/10/2011 01:02 - Australia

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 322

You deserved it 3 579

Dude, WTF is this?

By Anonymous - 28/09/2015 20:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 987

You deserved it 2 017

IOmnomHard 10

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:12

That's when you send a reply email with the subject line as, 'So, about your restraining order...'

Harpy20 24

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:10

Well obviously someone wants the D...

Comments

Harpy20 24

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:10

Well obviously someone wants the D...

jtthegr8 26

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:18

The Neighbor obviously wants it.

kyani 19

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:19

Nothing like **** in email form!

Charmillionaire 13

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:20

7 - No, C and E want it. They miss their neighbor.

Harpy20 24

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:21

8- if you get **** in an unsolicited email...that's a virus.

ClassyCommando 13

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:38

Probably wants OP to keep the noise down.

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Tuesday 4 December 2012 11:03

1, 2, 3, errybody wants the D.

trippythehippy 6

Tuesday 4 December 2012 16:48

That's assuming OP is a guy. OP could very well be a very vocal woman.

sens3sfailing 24

Wednesday 5 December 2012 3:03

Usually guys are fairly comfortable with their sex life, obviously they don't want someone watching, but it being known they have one is not generally frowned upon, hence it making most sense that OP is a female through being terrified of the email. Also, it's usually men who are the creepy psychopath neighbors. Not saying there aren't psychopath women (Casey Anthony) but it isn't a chance I would bet on.

m_2_teh_c 6

Thursday 6 December 2012 16:37

I applaud you. :)

californianking1 8

Thursday 6 December 2012 23:08

Oh hell yes!

Karalela44 15

Monday 7 January 2013 5:10

What if OP is a girl?

bulbul116_fml 4

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:10

yes you can..!

thejewishfuhrer 17

Tuesday 4 December 2012 10:18

Oh can they now?

MsConfusedd 27

Tuesday 4 December 2012 14:43

Can what?

jemnerz 2

Wednesday 5 December 2012 6:44

Your name and comment are perfect!

shyeahh_fml 19

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:11

He knows your secrets. Run.

zandalee 19

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:29

Get really thick curtains! Obviously you live next to a perv!!

IOmnomHard 10

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:12

That's when you send a reply email with the subject line as, 'So, about your restraining order...'

onlychildFTW 33

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:39

OP should not even look at the email and just do what you said. How did they even get OPs email?

fmmfl1993 1

Tuesday 4 December 2012 16:12

Maybe the neighbor's complaining that OP is making too much noise.

chimocho 8

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:13

Might just be a chain email?

interesting33 36

Tuesday 4 December 2012 13:12

Ah good point.. maybe.. doesn't sound like it but maybe :)

ks23 9

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:14

So..... Lets hear about your sex life then.

PeteyPablo12308 20

Tuesday 4 December 2012 13:07

No thanks.

BlowinChronic 18

Tuesday 4 December 2012 15:07

Maybe the neighbor was going to talk about OP's non existent sex life, and wanted to help out and make it existent...

Vlortch_fml 6

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:19

Maybe he simply wants you to stop screaming so loud while you're doing it.

bandofsand 10

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:29

Agreed. That was my first thought as well.

chrissy2 28

Wednesday 5 December 2012 6:40

Or maybe they are telling OP to close a window...

uzairmacy 5

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:21

Now I kinda wanna know what was in that e-mail...

samasara 20

Tuesday 4 December 2012 12:43

Me too. Cliff hangers stink!

flailingCheese 5

Tuesday 4 December 2012 9:21

Well since he/she is crazy it could be a Christmas e card or something but they couldn't figure out what to put as the subject of the message, that or you might want to move...