Love, Embarrassing and Awkward: At least you tried, son

At least you tried, son

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Canberra

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform her, I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 272

You deserved it 3 260

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Same thing different taste

By asthma_attacker - 14/11/2009 18:38 - United States

Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 719

You deserved it 2 915

By Well, crap - 18/06/2013 15:02 - Denmark - Kongerslev

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 348

You deserved it 22 307

She said yes!

By Anonymous - 07/12/2014 00:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 094

You deserved it 2 848

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 340

You deserved it 7 439

By boo! - 17/02/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 533

You deserved it 42 989

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 761

You deserved it 73 899

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 920

You deserved it 4 500

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 201

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 165

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 301

You deserved it 5 015

heyhihello95 12

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:08

This one. So there were others?

Zebediabolical 39

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:09

"I didn't try to chloroform THIS ONE" You should get together with the guy who wants anal. You will probably be pretty good friends.

Comments

Xion0014 20

Sunday 19 July 2015 22:29

You took her breath away xD Maybe she'll give you a chance if you helped her to a hospital!

vikky538 28

Sunday 19 July 2015 22:33

So you friends now you... The official "Chloro-farmer"

meisiemeisie 8

Sunday 19 July 2015 22:33

And the award for rapiest FML goes to...OP!

TallMist 32

Sunday 19 July 2015 23:22

I'm intrigued by the wording. "Didn't chloroform THIS ONE."

haileybarry98 9

Sunday 19 July 2015 23:31

Dang..

millyd320 4

Sunday 19 July 2015 23:37

This one? Wtf? No one thinks that's funny. Because it's not, you piece of shit.

yumyumbiscuits 14

Sunday 19 July 2015 23:46

I am glad you aren't taking the Bill Cosby route.

chaseafterwind82 29

Monday 20 July 2015 0:23

Bill Cosby, GET OFF FML!!!

brianna_jean16 6

Monday 20 July 2015 0:51

but you have tried to choroform one?

ImmortalSyn 17

Monday 20 July 2015 0:56

Is it just me or does it seem like the girl deserved that? It's a bitch move to laugh at someone who thought you were worth dating.

Keywords

Cute Love Surprise Texting My ex Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Sleep Health Insomnia Mental health Cooking Food Kids Weekend Parents Miscellaneous Annoying Pranks Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Cats Animals

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I agree, your life sucks 1 741

You deserved it 3 880

Today, I held a presentation about my masters thesis. Turns out, my professor never ever actually read the drafts I'd given him, but decided to rip me to pieces in front of everyone, saying that the topic isn't worth researching. I've been working on it for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 250

You deserved it 2 725

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I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 221

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 016

You deserved it 5 715

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I agree, your life sucks 36 727

You deserved it 3 072

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I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 1 881

Today, my 6 year-old told me that he was stealing the fan I just bought. I told him he could have it for $25. He said, "What, you think I’m made of money?" My response was, "Well, you think I’m made of money." He replied, "Isn’t that what MOM stands for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 368

Today, I tried to book another train to go back to college for the spring after my first train was cancelled, only for it to be cancelled again, and there were no buses, nor did my parents want to drive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 84