Love, Embarrassing and Awkward: At least you tried, son

At least you tried, son

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Canberra

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform her, I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 278

You deserved it 3 264

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Same thing different taste

By asthma_attacker - 14/11/2009 18:38 - United States

Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 719

You deserved it 2 915

By Well, crap - 18/06/2013 15:02 - Denmark - Kongerslev

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 350

You deserved it 22 310

She said yes!

By Anonymous - 07/12/2014 00:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 096

You deserved it 2 848

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 7 441

By boo! - 17/02/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 533

You deserved it 42 990

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 762

You deserved it 73 901

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 4 503

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 202

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 168

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 303

You deserved it 5 015

heyhihello95 12

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:08

This one. So there were others?

Zebediabolical 39

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:09

"I didn't try to chloroform THIS ONE" You should get together with the guy who wants anal. You will probably be pretty good friends.

Comments

Bibblejomin 18

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:08

Wow, you should be a comedian!

heyhihello95 12

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:08

This one. So there were others?

hushhh 4

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:10

That's what I was thinking.

vsus98 22

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:54

That's what I was thinking.

TommyG493 11

Sunday 19 July 2015 20:27

That's what they were thinking

MrDonSalvetti 27

Sunday 19 July 2015 20:39

That's what he wanted them to think

Hoopachi 19

Sunday 19 July 2015 20:54

That's what the government wants you all to think

jessi_sunshine 26

Sunday 19 July 2015 21:28

That's what society wants you to think.

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 19 July 2015 22:09

That's what he said...

Badkarma4u 17

Sunday 19 July 2015 22:14

That's what SHE said.

killer6969 16

Sunday 19 July 2015 23:23

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

HeWhoIsNameless 9

Sunday 19 July 2015 23:56

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

LOLouis_fml 24

Sunday 19 July 2015 23:57

That's what i've been trying to say...

Bono363 11

Monday 20 July 2015 2:30

That's what FML want you all to say.

iAmDictionary 13

Monday 20 July 2015 5:42

That's what Big Brother wants you to think.

ubeenbagged 6

Monday 20 July 2015 8:42

What would Jesus say?

AshesNicole623 17

Monday 20 July 2015 20:15

What would Jesus think?

joeyl1990 28

Sunday 18 September 2016 17:13

What would Jesus do?

llamarrama01 21

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:09

Don't feel sad, you took her breath away!

Zebediabolical 39

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:09

"I didn't try to chloroform THIS ONE" You should get together with the guy who wants anal. You will probably be pretty good friends.

MrSassypants 32

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:14

"Good friends and a threat to society." They should get that on matching t-shirts.

Zebediabolical 39

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:17

With any luck they will chloroform and molest each other. Like would happen in any good bromance movie.

tarlax 11

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:26

"Molest" each other? Wtf? Good first comment, terrible rape-y second one. If you think molestation's funny, you probably think Freddy Got Fingered is the best movie ever.

Zebediabolical 39

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:46

Anything is funny. In context.

MrConcise 34

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:50

No limits in comedy, don't even defend yourself. Hell, even your profile picture is rapeish. They should expect this extreme style of humor from you.

MELKOZAR 27

Monday 20 July 2015 0:27

This is the best comment I have ever read.

Shieldsam 15

Monday 20 July 2015 13:13

That's it, we've officially gone meta

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:11

Practice makes perfect...if you stayed at her side she knows you care...keep trying OP you'll get one soon

alain4343 26

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:13

how the **** did u make her laugh so she can have an asthma attack

okokalright 15

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:47

It's really easy actually. Have you ever had a moment where you laugh so hard you can't breathe?

ionab101 21

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:57

I have asthma and it's actually super easy, I get to the point of wheezing nearly every time I laugh

mimi_animee 18

Wednesday 22 July 2015 19:34

Pretty easily actually. I once gave my younger brother an asthma attack from tickling him. Needless to say I wasn't allowed to touch him for a while after..

ukeandfoodislife 19

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:16

The emphasis on "this one". On the other hand, I don't think it was cool for her to openly laugh at you. That was rather rude and I think she could have concealed her laughter until you walked away, to be courteous.