Love, Embarrassing and Awkward: At least you tried, son

At least you tried, son

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Canberra

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform her, I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 279

You deserved it 3 264

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Same thing different taste

By asthma_attacker - 14/11/2009 18:38 - United States

Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 721

You deserved it 2 915

By Well, crap - 18/06/2013 15:02 - Denmark - Kongerslev

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 352

You deserved it 22 312

She said yes!

By Anonymous - 07/12/2014 00:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 098

You deserved it 2 848

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 7 441

By boo! - 17/02/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 534

You deserved it 42 993

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 763

You deserved it 73 904

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 4 504

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 205

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 169

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 303

You deserved it 5 016

heyhihello95 12

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:08

This one. So there were others?

Zebediabolical 39

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:09

"I didn't try to chloroform THIS ONE" You should get together with the guy who wants anal. You will probably be pretty good friends.

Comments

876t786t6oi 12

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:26

"this one"

supertacowaffle 41

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:29

The wording of this FML is brilliant, I like @11's approach, smoke bombs would be useful here

tranced_ 45

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:32

more like she deserved it.

ParagonApteryx 5

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:39

"This one"? Oh my...

mld4657 28

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:40

I love how this FML post says " I didn't try to chloroform this one" OP have you tried to chloroform other ones?

Greg_DGZ 15

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:45

have you chloroformed other when you said you didnt try with this one?

Kiel182_fml 6

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:46

On the bright side, that's cheaper than chloroform...

sstahpp 33

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:52

Not this one,you say?

Sxylilhalfpint 20

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:53

the way he said no I didn't chloroform this 1 makes it sound like he has before. lmao. eesh

shitidied 17

Sunday 19 July 2015 19:59

This one? Oh my....

Keywords

Love Party Lonely Awkward ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Health Covid Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Animals Dogs Photography Art Videos Exhausted Intimacy Sex Money

The Top

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 372

You deserved it 1 985

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 242

You deserved it 6 977

The Top

Today, my coworker got a raise by making our boss give me a pay cut for doing his job while he was slacking off. As we were heading home for the day, he found $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 103

Today, lots of guys my age are confident and in the best shape of their life. I've been working out since high-school. However, since I turned 20, my body has become increasingly injury prone on my joints and tendons from wear and tear. I feel like I'm slowly breaking down and I'm only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 86

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 825

You deserved it 13 091

Today, I checked an old photosharing account. I got a new phone last year and didn't realize all the pictures I took with the new phone would still automatically upload to my account. Unknowingly, I posted naked pics of myself online. Not one of my friends told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 714

You deserved it 56 620

Today, my sister and I both got "good luck" cards from our aunt wishing us well on our exams. My sister's said "We know you will do well". Mine said "We will love you no matter what happens". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 155

You deserved it 5 091

Today, my new wife kept taunting and goading my ex into a fight. Now, instead of an amicable co-parenting situation, I have multiple court dates and a child support order. My wife won’t apologize and my ex doesn’t want her around the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 548