Kids: Awwww

Awwww

By ljjprchf - 13/12/2009 01:29 - Australia

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year-old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year-old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 217

You deserved it 13 818

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Same thing different taste

By yoked - 18/12/2009 03:48 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 192

You deserved it 4 640

Kids say the darndest things

By Anonymous - 30/09/2020 02:02

Today, I asked my 2-year-old if he loved me. His response? “No mama, stop.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 1 102

By lol - 05/12/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 523

You deserved it 9 263

By lamponau - 09/11/2008 11:26 - France

Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 528

You deserved it 6 177

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 911

You deserved it 9 073

By Anonymous - 10/05/2012 20:33 - United States - Walpole

Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 247

You deserved it 8 786

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 216

You deserved it 6 252

By chee - 11/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 804

You deserved it 2 944

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 30 128

By Missyangel - 31/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 376

You deserved it 11 458

TheGuyOverThere 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 5:47

That's teenagers for you.

I_Own_Ubers 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 5:48

haha I guess i only find that funny cos I am 16, hardly an fml, more like my life is perfect cos my child has a wonderful sense of humour

Comments

fantasyworld 37

Tuesday 23 June 2015 23:11

What else would you expect from a 16 year old.

IHaveThePower 16

Saturday 9 October 2021 23:01

Well, you can be comforted in that they're both at exactly the right stage of development...you've got healthy kids, if nothing else.

Keywords

TV shows Miscellaneous Work Awkward Coworkers Politics Transportation Embarrassing Ironic Relatable Social Media Instagram Parenting Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Housework Cars Porn Technology Sports Health Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 738

You deserved it 4 239

Today, I went for dinner and bowling with a woman I met online. The Mexican food was great but my bowels started feeling it during our first game. I slipped on the bowling lane and the impact of my ass hitting the ground made me shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 458

You deserved it 518

The Top

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 663

You deserved it 47 213

Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 089

You deserved it 3 290

Today, I asked about 30 students and 3 of my teachers to sign my yearbook. So far, only my math teacher agreed to write in it. He wrote, "You need to try harder next year." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 424

You deserved it 1 785

Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 72

Today, I sold a dresser on OfferUp. When I arrive at the customer’s house to deliver it and discussed the payment, she got upset and called me a selfish, greedy bitch because she’s a "single mom on food stamps." She berated me to the point of tears. I left without getting my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 661

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop and a guy stops in front of me and says "Oh very nice. How much?" I reply "You couldn't afford me." An old guy sitting next to me says "I bet I could" and puts his hand on my leg. I forfeited the bus and walked home in the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 279

You deserved it 26 040