Alcohol, Drunk and Health: Back on the wagon - FML

Back on the wagon

By photomark - 27/11/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 512

You deserved it 37 050

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Random Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anna14 - 21/02/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 148

You deserved it 49 436

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, after buying dinner from the supermarket, I had the change in my hand, and my wallet. In the parking lot, a quarter fell out of my hand, and right next to the street drain. As I went to pick it up, my wallet fell down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 354

You deserved it 11 273

By quarterback - 23/01/2011 05:43 - United States

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 102

You deserved it 44 611

Drunken antics

By qx5 - 08/01/2011 22:05 - Canada

Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 524

You deserved it 58 097

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 259

You deserved it 36 941

By ripped - 11/04/2009 06:10 - Canada

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 240

You deserved it 63 916

By Watchingmyfigure - 06/12/2016 17:55 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 981

You deserved it 1 243

By tripleBBB - 09/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 2 632

By FattyMcFatterson - 24/06/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 805

You deserved it 82 479

Poot

By dumblonde76 - 14/09/2021 07:00 - United States - Jackson

Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 380

Next

Top comments

MrSchneebly 5

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:03

Kepp checking your poop you could be rich by next month

davidisbeast 12

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:07

At least you got the quarter back :D that's a whole TWENTY FIVE cents !

Comments

ninjuh_wingman 29

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:16

At least if someone asks for change, all you have to say do is go to the bathroom.

xSorry_fml 10

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:17

It probably didnt get there by mouth.

Savra_fml 17

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:21

You do know that money is the dirtiest thing in the world, don't you? It's as if you licked the fingers of millions of people by swallowing that coin.....FYL OP.

SpeshulK 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:25

And now that coins even dirtier

adamcichuttek 2

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:23

It's a pretty good place to keep your money.

Ins0mau 20

Wednesday 14 December 2011 0:50

Safe, at least.

holland070rnello 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:26

hahaha LOL

davidisbeast 12

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:26

Wtf is this app about?!?! Why the f*** am I writing this? WTF!!!

aFreedom127 9

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:29

I won't even begin to tell you what I like to swallow when I get shit-faced.

aFreedom127 9

Tuesday 13 December 2011 19:57

Hot.

chrisinaz 0

Friday 23 December 2011 10:49

what's up

DFlit1 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:31

WTF dude eating change? I've heard of doing stupid things drunk but I must say this is the weirdest

Capt_Oblivious 10

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:32

You make change. Where does one swipe the card if we don't have cash?

Poetaster 10

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:34

Stop drinking.

photomark 2

Saturday 31 December 2011 6:42

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Keywords

AITA Awkward First Dates Love Dogs Animals Cute Am I overreacting? Alcohol Food Health Relatable Thanksgiving Politics Family Holidays Miscellaneous Transportation Cars Sex Intimacy Contraception Cheating Suspicious Poopoo peepee Kids Gross Accident Gifts Birthday

The Top

Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 413

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 835

The Top

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of three years. I worked my ass off planning everything down to a T. It seemed perfect, until I actually proposed, at which point I was rejected and dumped, in front of my family, friends and two coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 311

You deserved it 5 879

Today, I walked in on my mom, my dad, Sarah, and Sarah's husband James making dinner in the kitchen. Completely naked. At 2 p.m. They weren't cooking anything to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 165

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 793

You deserved it 4 540

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 515

You deserved it 4 131

Today, my cheating ex is still happily married with his new wife and kids 4 years after he left me for her. Meanwhile, I keep getting ghosted, left on “Read/Seen”, and getting a guy to be into me is like pulling teeth. I think it’s time to throw the towel on love and die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 203

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 220

You deserved it 6 551