Alcohol, Drunk and Health: Back on the wagon

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Back on the wagon

By photomark - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 604

You deserved it 37 535

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Same thing different taste

By anna14 - 21/02/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 152

You deserved it 49 451

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, after buying dinner from the supermarket, I had the change in my hand, and my wallet. In the parking lot, a quarter fell out of my hand, and right next to the street drain. As I went to pick it up, my wallet fell down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 359

You deserved it 11 275

By quarterback - 23/01/2011 05:43 - United States

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 110

You deserved it 44 621

Drunken antics

By qx5 - 08/01/2011 22:05 - Canada

Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 527

You deserved it 58 119

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 261

You deserved it 36 957

By ripped - 11/04/2009 06:10 - Canada

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 243

You deserved it 63 923

By Watchingmyfigure - 06/12/2016 17:55 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 990

You deserved it 1 244

By tripleBBB - 09/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 2 640

By FattyMcFatterson - 24/06/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 810

You deserved it 82 489

Poot

By dumblonde76 - 14/09/2021 07:00 - United States - Jackson

Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 384

MrSchneebly 5

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:03

Kepp checking your poop you could be rich by next month

davidisbeast 12

Tuesday 13 December 2011 16:07

At least you got the quarter back :D that's a whole TWENTY FIVE cents !

Comments

jeanniebabee 10

Tuesday 13 December 2011 19:49

lol' thats super funny.

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 13 December 2011 19:51

You're really going to go blind, Griffin.

Gigaboo 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 20:03

how much more sense do u have left?

MsCane 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 20:24

You don't need to drink. That is all.

iloveweed69 7

Tuesday 13 December 2011 20:34

you will be a millionaire one day

jay1010 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 21:07

y would u look through ur poop

Vegeto30294 19

Tuesday 13 December 2011 21:09

If you go into an airport, will the metal detectors go off by eaten change?

DunkmisterE 1

Tuesday 13 December 2011 21:16

Gotta try hard to be center of attention...loser

Starfiji 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 21:23

******** money :D

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 13 December 2011 21:41

My dad used to say "do you think money falls out of my ass?". I guess it does for you.

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The Top

Today, I’m pet-sitting for my parents while they’re on vacation. So far, one cat has projectile vomited all over the living room, and another has pooped in their bed. Twice. My parents were not concerned when I called, and said this is normal behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 845

You deserved it 296

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I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 67

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 23 090

You deserved it 65 929

Today, my lovely boyfriend decided to make grilled cheese on his own for the first time in months. Apparently, within that time span he forgot that plastic doesn't go well with prolonged heat. Goodbye favorite pan and spatula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 733

You deserved it 529

Another creation by our friend Louis.

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 167

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 239

You deserved it 62 640

Today, I had the flu and couldn't go to school. My dad called in and told them that I couldn't be there because I have an itchy anus. Not only that, but my birthday's tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 552

You deserved it 234

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 463

You deserved it 6 035

Back on the wagon

Same thing different taste

Drunken antics

Poot

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