Intimacy: Backfire

Backfire

By Darryl - 12/05/2015 12:53 - Australia - Tarragindi

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 463

You deserved it 4 965

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Same thing different taste

Up to no good, sonny Jim ?

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 10:00

Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 156

By iamnotfat - 06/02/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 774

You deserved it 4 496

By Poopamus - 23/04/2019 14:00

Today, the police showed up at my door asking if I told this creepy guy stalking my girlfriend that I'll chop him up and bury each piece in a different country if he doesn't stop bothering my girl. I told them I did, along with an explanation. Turns out, he's been missing since that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 181

You deserved it 618

Oh, hi Sharon!

By graveyard-sh*t - 29/10/2019 14:00

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend showed up at my new job to, "Keep an eye on me." The same ex-girlfriend who has been stalking me since we broke up. Two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 960

You deserved it 206

By GDBeast - 09/01/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 466

You deserved it 6 317

By Ohfman117 - 11/08/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 956

You deserved it 71 790

PTSD

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 478

You deserved it 45 174

By Luckless - 23/02/2019 04:00

Today, I'm preparing my defense for allegedly stalking someone at work. The best part, I have absolutely no clue who it is. Now my skin is crawling as I go through all the messages and in person events that occurred with my actual twice-my-age stalker to show my boss what a real stalker does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 267

You deserved it 171

By hazlanz216 - 06/10/2011 22:28 - Canada

Today, I was suspended from work. Some lady went to the manager and told them that I was stalking her, all because I would kindly greet her everyday at the grocery store. I'm the cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 947

You deserved it 2 173

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 03:17 - Canada

Today, I drove 3 hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 804

You deserved it 2 375

passinthrough 1

Tuesday 12 May 2015 17:55

Do both of you agree that you have a relationship? Cause it doesn't sound like she's in on it.

LeavenSilva 27

Tuesday 12 May 2015 17:52

Some people honestly need to think about how appropriate their "jokes" are... I mean, calling the cops is a bit far for a joke

Comments

Jason89 16

Tuesday 12 May 2015 19:51

i agree with you #3, i know i would say someone was breaking in

WintersChild 12

Tuesday 12 May 2015 19:59

She "didn't feel like seeing you" so you go to her anyways are you dumb?

leogachi 15

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:29

"Surprise her at work." I don't think he told her he was going to see her.

vikky538 28

Tuesday 12 May 2015 19:59

I feel like the story is little different from what i am hearing

AngryRabbit 2

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:09

Dump. Her. Bitch.

pickle682 17

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:17

She knows that you think you two are dating right? If she does then you should dump her because that's horrible

fallen_dragonkin 12

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:19

not much of a girlfriend

spyder21 4

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:34

that kind of reaction tells me that this isn't really his girlfriend. I.e he's stalking her.

Krwman 8

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:43

That's not too subtle on her part. Or, you're incredibly dense!

leogachi 15

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:47

Why the hell is everyone assuming his gf told him she didn't want to see him before he went to her work? Surprising someone means you don't tell them before you do something. I thought that was common knowledge, but apparently it isn't.