Health: Bailed out

Bailed out

By Why's it so cold in here? - 01/02/2015 18:13 - United States

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 829

You deserved it 2 980

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Same thing different taste

By unsuckable - 28/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Denver

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 899

You deserved it 4 171

By WTFFAIL - 03/12/2012 05:06 - Canada - Montreal

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 576

You deserved it 9 004

By Widowmaker - 28/11/2012 18:09 - United States - Henderson

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 693

You deserved it 48 688

Keep some things to yourself

By Beer - 28/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I picked out a massive two-inch long ingrown hair on my chin. I called my girlfriend in to take a look. She saw it, shrieked, then fainted, cracking her head on the toilet as she fell. Hello, hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 368

So, here's the thing…

By HairyBoobs - 05/11/2009 14:22 - United States

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 411

You deserved it 6 888

Freakout

By emmey - 23/07/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 918

You deserved it 44 881

Healing

By Manatee - 11/05/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 832

You deserved it 9 832

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 09:04 - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 461

You deserved it 2 650

Sliced

By Anonymous - 18/04/2023 18:00

Today, I was in a rush to get ready for work so I quickly shaved my legs. In my haste, I accidentally nicked myself in a very sensitive area and had to spend the day simmering in discomfort and checking my crotch every so often to make I wasn't bleeding through my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 265

Freak out

By Brooke - 09/08/2009 15:23 - United States

Today, my skin was turning black, and I believed I was reacting to a spider bite. I spent 4 hours waiting in an emergency room in the middle of the night, paid a $100 copay, and missed a night with my boyfriend just to have a doctor wipe dye from my brand new black jeans off with alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 938

You deserved it 57 184

Exodiafinder687 58

Monday 2 February 2015 11:03

Why did you have to rush to the hospital? Your wife could have just sucked the spider venom out.

712sash 26

Monday 2 February 2015 11:01

Well, would you rather prefer a spider bite on your penis?

Comments

dragoongirl90 34

Monday 2 February 2015 11:58

Nurses are not doctors. It was actually illegal for her to try to diagnose you that way. People can give opinions on things, of course, but those in the medical profession have rules. And this is why.

stuner56 22

Monday 2 February 2015 14:28

It's not illegal if this happens at home.

SMHsohard 22

Monday 2 February 2015 14:41

Also, an APN can diagnose and treat, legally. They work in tandem with a physician, but diagnosis is part of their job.

meli1195 31

Monday 2 February 2015 17:46

pretty sure OP wouldn't send his wife to jail for giving him an incorrect diagnosis, even if it's illegal

ShannonBitt 29

Tuesday 3 February 2015 0:26

I wouldn't consider this a diagnosis. I think the only reason he said that she was a nurse was because she'd be more credible than any random person.

Joshery 14

Monday 2 February 2015 12:09

That must have been very embarrassing

xx000o 27

Monday 2 February 2015 12:32

Is she a candy stripe nurse?

ndnpride88 25

Monday 2 February 2015 12:38

Better safe than sorry. Atleast there was no spider bite

buckdharma 37

Monday 2 February 2015 12:55

You were gone for a week, and your wife convinces you to go to an ER? I'm guessing you initiated sex and got blew-off? Maybe you should be checking her out for bites?