Weird, Farts and Nature: Basic communication

Basic communication

By Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 021

You deserved it 6 022

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Same thing different taste

Better out than in

By flying13 - 03/11/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 525

You deserved it 13 279

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 764

You deserved it 6 705

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 136

He who smelled it…

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 15:08 - United States - Venus

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 058

You deserved it 2 708

Stealth dog

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 02:00

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 238

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 798

You deserved it 11 968

By Brendan - 19/02/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 976

You deserved it 4 147

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

By JJAnd - 28/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 273

You deserved it 48 070

DaGirlz 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:04

Sounds like a pleasant man.

NoMercy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:07

I fart in your general direction

Comments

Random_Poster 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 19:40

The only reason he left and didn't stay for your retaliation is because...He SHARTED!

kingtut95 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 19:41

you should have stopped him, pushed him on the ground, pulled down your pants, and taken a shit on his face

Jezzy101 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 9:51

kudos 2 that hes sick!!!!

unholyfury 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 19:42

today, I sat down next to a really beautiful woman. But right when I was about to talk to her, I by accident, let out a huge fart. I was mortified, and quickly left. fml

RhymePrime 7

Thursday 18 June 2009 7:57

This was submitted by a man, jackass.

Diz 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 19:42

Wahahah! FYL.

krystal_love 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 19:44

what the **** hahaha

drfail 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 19:53

When i grow old, im gonna be that elderly man who messes with people for kicks. Rock on you old punk!

12anthony4 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 19:59

lol this is the funniest fml i've ever read

maggy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 20:00

#5 xD your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

lexxn 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 20:03

Sounds like he had a blast out of that!

LesYeuxDeDario 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 20:22

Oh my goodness ... this is ... it's ... I'm almost out of words ! Epic is just and underrating of what he has done ! Just imagine that, it's a warm beautiful day at the park, the birds singing, the kids playing, people in love ******* in bushes... And in the middle of that utopia there are you ! Sitting on a bench only with this tasty sandwich with salad, extra good cheese, amazing meat, and everything what you want... This is such a pure moment, a moment worth living that shitty life up til now ... And then came the man who will change your life, in a perfect Italian suit, his hair wonderfully cut, his face so full of wisdom that you could only think that yes... he's gonna be your master, your teacher, your Sensei ... He even sit at your place, with you, he smile's at you. Feeling humbled and so happy, you want to express your gratitude but he just lifts a hand and spread the "magic" ... The moments pass like they were ages ... After a true eternity in which you finally reach nirvana, OT XV Cleared Theta Clear, spongebob's mental level and many other perfections... he stands up ... and only a moment before he continue his eternal walk once again he looks at you briefly, nods as saying "yes, you can do it too kiddo" and disappears in the big red sun just about to go down, once again, and again, and again... And the wind whistles yellow submarine ...