Love, Health, Sex and Intimacy: Bazinga

Bazinga

By Anonymous - 20/03/2009 15:07 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 694

You deserved it 17 086

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Same thing different taste

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 327

You deserved it 68 711

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 578

You deserved it 32 066

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 469

You deserved it 9 863

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 047

You deserved it 5 428

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 302

You deserved it 33 321

Pleased to see me?

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 23:39 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 806

You deserved it 20 050

By timmynotjimmy - 28/10/2009 01:28 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 374

You deserved it 3 936

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 972

You deserved it 5 606

By ScottyB - 22/12/2014 08:05 - United States - Peabody

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 747

You deserved it 6 627

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 180

You deserved it 8 661

Weil 0

Friday 20 March 2009 20:04

Owned.

Astroman129 7

Saturday 27 March 2010 14:40

Yeah, I hate when some people decide to make things a lot more depressing for no reason. It would be even worse if you had erectile dysfunction. =[

Comments

unfixie 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 1:29

see a DIRECT comment could hurt.. but i dont need to argue to anyone...for me, the girl was just kidding when she said that... some guys say that girls over-react too much! but HERE are SOME of THEM, over-reacting too :)

unfixie 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 1:33

agree with #60

ihpb09 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 1:52

#61 "they were talking about the erection --- and the ''joke'' was not directly pointed to the guy's penis!" do u read wut ur typing? a "joke" about an ERECTION is not related to the guys PENIS? where the hell else wud he be erect? his left nut?! "in comparison to a guy telling a girl to get a fucken boob job cuz your boobs are small!?!?" lemme turn that right around. -- in comparision to a girl telling a guy tht he cant keep up a ****** erection? yea. its just as bad. u screamed equality earlier but u clearly dont kno what that means. and yes, we say that women overreact, but u do it anyway. so if ur gunna do it, why cant we? ******* hypocrite.

unfixie 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 2:10

OKIE!! u win GUY... guy rules again.. don't call me a fucken hypocrite! im entitled to voice out my opinion! i don't need to argue with you.. you're so serious! suck your own dick you fag! :DDD

unfixie 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 2:18

other than everything, i still think they're a cute couple ... and i think they should keep the jokin around and sex in their relationship :) and just laugh and not take things seriously. key.

Flying_Pink_Lulz 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 2:31

What is wrong with you? OBVIOUSLY she wanted you to go "oh yea?" and then demonstratively try and prove her wrong JEEZ! You made a perfectly good sex-starter sound like an insult!

unfixie 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 2:36

OMG thank HEAVENS! somebody understands what some of us were trying to explain!!! thanks # 68 for making that clear.. i can't believe somebody really wants to argue and go emo drama ! =D

ihpb09 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 2:49

@ #66 - nobody said u cant voice out ur opinion. i took it as a joke too until you started sayin "equality". calling you a ****** hypocrite is the truth. dont like it? well im entitled to my own opinion too, so dont tell me what i can or cannot call you, especially when its the truth. TRUE equality means the SAME RULES FOR EVERYONE, not "i can complain cuz im a woman and you cant cuz ur a guy". and i deeply resent the "guy wins again" comment.. yea make me out to sound like a sexist why dont you, just cuz ur probably a ****** highschool dropout who cant even pick up a goddamn dictionary. **** YOU.