Love, Health, Sex and Intimacy: Bazinga

Bazinga

By Anonymous - 20/03/2009 15:07 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 694

You deserved it 17 086

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Same thing different taste

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 327

You deserved it 68 711

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 578

You deserved it 32 066

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 469

You deserved it 9 863

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 047

You deserved it 5 428

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 302

You deserved it 33 321

Pleased to see me?

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 23:39 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 806

You deserved it 20 050

By timmynotjimmy - 28/10/2009 01:28 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 374

You deserved it 3 936

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 972

You deserved it 5 606

By ScottyB - 22/12/2014 08:05 - United States - Peabody

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 747

You deserved it 6 627

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 180

You deserved it 8 661

Weil 0

Friday 20 March 2009 20:04

Owned.

Astroman129 7

Saturday 27 March 2010 14:40

Yeah, I hate when some people decide to make things a lot more depressing for no reason. It would be even worse if you had erectile dysfunction. =[

Comments

unfixie 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 3:09

im starting to believe that you're a woman - you talk like whiny woman. i don't want to argue with you... so you can say whatever you want! peace out! =)

theoldGP 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 3:27

wow lots of hate. let's clear this up - if she was serious: saying a guy can't keep his erection is about the same thing as saying to a girl her boobs are too small. on the other hand, i agree with #68. she was totally kidding and was trying to get him to have sex with her (as they were fooling around just before then) jesus..

hat_fml 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 9:34

sounds like a fake story.

DaniLand 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 10:24

Haha It sounds like something I would have thought and laughed at and then shook mt head and not said because I would be afraid it would be an eff my life moment for him. Funny tho she prolly should have kept it at a sly grin. No need to put his self esteem in jeopardy. Apparently its easy to do like your mom.

youreawhore 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 12:56

To the OP, I can't say I know what your reaction was, but I'm betting you laughed? You can't have taken something like that seriously :P It sounds like she was joking, or just teasing. And to the people who are telling him to get some humour, maybe he has some and that's why he posted a FML? Because he thought it would be funny? And to unfixie... what you've mentioned isn't equality :S Because then guys would have the right to tease girls about their body just like we do to guys. And we SHOULDN'T get all uppity about it. Females do tend to take things too seriously or read too much into it, but seriously if your boyfriend mentions your boobs are too small then laugh it off because he's the one who's got to deal with it. Same to guys. We all just got to relax about these things and let them slide sometimes.

ilovefmlife 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 15:36

I completely understand why she said that and why I know she wasn't joking. You sort of called her fat in an indirect way. "This is hard to maintain" basically translates to "your pretty heavy" you shouldn't of said that you probably made her self conscious about herself now.