Dogs and Love: Blame the pooch

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 302

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Same thing different taste

By silentbutdeadly - 27/04/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 996

You deserved it 77 617

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 19:16 - Sweden - Guayanilla

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 327

You deserved it 4 382

By Oops - 23/05/2010 09:21 - Australia

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 216

You deserved it 29 950

By TrulyYours - 07/05/2009 12:39 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 558

You deserved it 5 915

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 721

Tension

By Anonymous - 06/04/2011 11:47 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 987

You deserved it 5 475

By StinkyandStupid - 15/03/2012 17:49 - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 653

You deserved it 38 129

By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 305

You deserved it 8 646

By BadBreath - 09/04/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 681

You deserved it 9 393

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 314

You deserved it 5 072

notsorandomguy 18

Friday 11 May 2012 16:15

What's wrong with a plain old "What? What are you talking about"? Is it too mainstream?

ddeathbombb 5

Friday 11 May 2012 16:13

Do you have a cat lol

Comments

SwtCherryPie 26

Friday 11 May 2012 19:34

If you are willing to lie to him about something as stupid as whether or not YOU were the one that in fact farted, what else are you going to lie about throughout your relationship with him?

THE_A_TEEN 27

Friday 11 May 2012 19:36

I think you're going too far with this. It was a fart, not a test of trust.

SwtCherryPie 26

Saturday 12 May 2012 19:03

You are right. It was not a test of trust, but where did lying get her? He knew it was her and knows she lied about it. Where is the line when lying is ok?

titzenpitzer 9

Friday 11 May 2012 19:34

I have the feeling that farting in America (?) is something to be fully ashamed about, or am I wrong? I always act like I'm shooting something/jump as high as I can when I fart, my girlfriend laughs about it and we go on with our lives. How can you even be bothered to hear someone fart over the phone, scared that he might smell it? There are literally a trillion funny ways to fart during a telephone-conversation

mckibabe 7

Saturday 12 May 2012 10:12

Your dead wrong about the America thing! Just saying.

titzenpitzer 9

Saturday 12 May 2012 16:03

ok ;)

renrooo 2

Friday 11 May 2012 20:12

How dare you lie to your boyfriend lol. Tut tut.

WaywardDaughter 26

Friday 11 May 2012 20:18

Women fart, get over it. Moving on...NEXT!

williamcarter93 13

Friday 11 May 2012 20:27

Why would you lie about it? People fart, get over it, if your boyfriend has even 1/4 millimeter of a brain cell he knows that

jwh2012 0

Friday 11 May 2012 20:28

Should have said you were watching a neighbors dog or kid.

MDTeddy 13

Friday 11 May 2012 20:55

Some people actually get turned on by females farting. Where is Shane Dawson? =3

AffenKid 9

Friday 11 May 2012 20:56

Why hide? He is going to do it in front of you at one point and he'll do it proudly. You should have placed the phone on your butt and should have let rip, afterwards you should have proudly and defiantly exclaimed 'Quuuuueeeeee paaaaasaaaaaa?'. After this proclamation of freedom you should have immediately hanged up the phone.