Health, Mental health, Scary and Miscellaneous: Boo!

Boo!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 831

You deserved it 28 243

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Top comments

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:55

I'm not the only one! Their trying to enslave humanity you know!

DontModMeDammit 10

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:53

Was it wearing a mask?

Comments

xXSleepXx 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:20

Paranormal toastivity

Cory1016 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:26

Them bitches are scary

PJmeloche 2

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:29

Shut up. This isn't an fml.

reldnahceus 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:31

Are you my daughter?

SxeDaze 13

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:33

I didn't know the brave little toaster turned evil.!

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 12 January 2012 21:36

Does opening a tube of biscuits scare you too, when they make that loud pop when the seal breaks?

scooter165 15

Wednesday 7 June 2023 5:29

i could’ve ghostwritten this. it’s ok OP they’re kinda scary

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 189

You deserved it 11 246

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

The Top

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 399

You deserved it 3 178

Today, I have a zit on the edge of my nostril, along with severe allergies. I can no longer tell if my tears are from pain or hay fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 96

Today I found out that paying $40 for next-day shipping doesn't ensure that you'll receive the item the next day or even the next week. I assumed it was my fault for ordering too late into the holiday season. Turns out they never shipped it. When I finally received it 10 days late, it was the wrong item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 613

You deserved it 746

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 826

You deserved it 3 685

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 985

You deserved it 42 526

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 397

You deserved it 3 102