Health, Mental health, Scary and Miscellaneous: Boo! - FML

Boo!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 831

You deserved it 28 242

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Top comments

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:55

I'm not the only one! Their trying to enslave humanity you know!

DontModMeDammit 10

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:53

Was it wearing a mask?

Comments

Egao_fml 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 19:53

"Today, I got a paper cut. FML"

cupcakekyrie 5

Thursday 12 January 2012 19:58

Happens to the best of us.

lowie89 7

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:06

FREAK!

GoWithTheFro 10

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:14

What a trollster

Cigar 11

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:14

You're worse than my dog.

Twisted_Angel 17

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:14

My toaster scares me sometimes too. It's a 4 slicer. Thing is vicious! Get a toaster oven, your nerves will thank you later.

perdix 29

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:23

Those things scare the shit out of me! I put in bread that is cold, soft and white, and then it pops out hot, hard and dark! How does it do that magic? Then, I begin to think of how else a toaster could be useful ... You'd think after all of those unkind shocks, I'd quit trying!

ninjake9 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:23

My toaster scares me every time :/

ivanhoe4u 3

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:25

You must have a lot of fun with a jack-in-the-box.

LauraKaty 2

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:36

Happens all the time...

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Halloween Wanker Lonely Jealousy Love Party Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings TikTok YouTube Pranks Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I'd recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 856

You deserved it 5 091

Today, I found all of my underwear frozen in my freezer. I put my underwear in the washer before I left for work. I then put them in the dryer. I woke up and tried to put them on several times thinking I was missing the pant holes. I finally turned on the lights to see that each leg hole was sewn shut, all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 93

The Top

Today, while playing a gig with my band, I tried pulling the classic "playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor" rock-star pose. However, I misjudged the height of the monitor, didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it, slipped, and fell off the stage into the security guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 270

You deserved it 28 672

Today, I paid for earrings at a craft fair. A kid came up from behind and started crying. The kid's mom said the kid saw earrings first and dropped them to grab an adult. The kid was allowed to cry hysterically until the hall went silent. I said, “You can have it.” Suddenly, the kid stops crying and the mom goes, “Oh that’s so kind, are you sure?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 306

Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while I ran into the bank. When I came out, a seagull had gotten into my truck. I managed to open the doors and get it out, but not before it tore up a seat and pooped everywhere inside my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 684

You deserved it 7 446

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 550

You deserved it 7 403

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for not showing up to her mother's birthday party. I didn't go because I had to finish a project for work over the weekend. This is the same person who refused to go to my father's funeral because she, "didn't feel like getting dressed up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 767

You deserved it 873

Today, my mother in law likes to baby my partner. Gets him drinks, kisses him on the forehead, talks to him like he's 8, does everything for him. And she gives me death stares, especially when she hugs him when I'm around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 731

You deserved it 1 233