Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Booktok - FML

Booktok

By eakthegeek - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 702

You deserved it 7 047

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

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Same thing different taste

By VampiresSayRawr - 28/03/2009 03:16 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 718

You deserved it 9 797

We got a reader!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 05:18 - United States - Hobbs

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 3 789

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 527

You deserved it 6 871

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Spicy

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 6 490

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 542

You deserved it 19 406

Sexy talk

By dtmfa - 31/10/2009 04:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 259

You deserved it 4 978

By workhoe - 20/02/2017 06:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 003

You deserved it 1 760

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 359

You deserved it 4 920

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Spicy

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 180

You deserved it 5 619

By deli Shoppe - 27/06/2012 04:39 - United States - Vallejo

Spicy

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 381

You deserved it 38 643

Next

Top comments

TransitionCovert 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 16:06

He is a keeper

CVeNgineer 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 16:08

Well he's got a point..

Comments

Gracemonique3 18

Sunday 6 April 2014 13:48

"

girI 20

Saturday 5 July 2014 5:37

What did you answer?

spacey_blueberry 18

Thursday 31 July 2014 21:50

At least you found some intelligent life. Which is hard to come by these days :P

andiesaur 18

Thursday 18 September 2014 2:55

YDI for using the phrase "sexing it up" and complaining about a guy that just wants to have a nice conversation every now and then.

Sockmonkey12 10

Thursday 6 November 2014 5:25

He's got a point tho

accountusername 2

Monday 18 January 2016 20:06

everyone sect me on Kik @sexterhere. I send nudes.

RexRocks124 0

Thursday 2 March 2017 0:58

Don't start this with me I'd actually start a discussion XD

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Health Awkward Dentist Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Clothes Work Job interview Miscellaneous Weird Family Holidays Vacation Parents AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Ironic Food Money

The Top

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 868

You deserved it 3 514

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 169

You deserved it 9 445

The Top

Today, I was invited to a party, but I didn't attend because my boyfriend would be disappointed with me. Instead, I spent the night with him watching movies. At the end of the night, he broke up with me because I wasn't fun enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 603

You deserved it 7 587

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 925

You deserved it 33 661

Today, my sister and I saw a guy with a terrible nose job coming up the bus. She said to me, "Look how ugly that guy is" in our native tongue. The man sat down right in front of us, took his phone out, and started talking our language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 1 959

Today, out of my mom, dad, and my siblings, I was the only one selected for a “random” extra check at the airport. My parents are English and my siblings were adopted from France and Scotland, and are all white. My bio parents were Pakistani, and I'm nutbrown and I was the only “random” search. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 340

You deserved it 216

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 828

You deserved it 3 589

Today, after I let my job know I needed time off for a friend's funeral a week ahead of time and they declined to approve it, telling me to call in sick, the day of the funeral arrived and I called in sick, only to come back to a write-up and threats of being fired for not getting it approved in advance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 86