Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Booktok - FML

Booktok

By eakthegeek - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 702

You deserved it 7 047

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

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Same thing different taste

By VampiresSayRawr - 28/03/2009 03:16 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 718

You deserved it 9 797

We got a reader!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 05:18 - United States - Hobbs

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 3 789

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 527

You deserved it 6 871

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Spicy

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 6 490

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 542

You deserved it 19 406

Sexy talk

By dtmfa - 31/10/2009 04:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 259

You deserved it 4 978

By workhoe - 20/02/2017 06:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 003

You deserved it 1 760

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 359

You deserved it 4 920

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Spicy

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 180

You deserved it 5 619

By deli Shoppe - 27/06/2012 04:39 - United States - Vallejo

Spicy

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 381

You deserved it 38 643

Next

Top comments

TransitionCovert 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 16:06

He is a keeper

CVeNgineer 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 16:08

Well he's got a point..

Comments

ericplaystrumpet 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 6:11

You posted this to the wrong website!!

harper91 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 9:00

if you were sexting, how did he look at you and ask you that question?

saidawhiting 14

Friday 13 January 2012 21:13

They weren't sexting, they were "sexing it up."

SwiftKick2DA 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 15:21

Who says sexing it up? WTF is that lol

bellaj67 4

Friday 13 January 2012 13:55

Sounds like something Seth Cohen would do. So cute.

edoohan619 10

Friday 13 January 2012 22:06

this one actually made me lol

SpeechQween94 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 9:49

Gemini? Lol. (I'm a Gemini)

samiisSatan 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 2:31

at least he's capable of having am intellectual conversation? and wants to have one with you? i'd say that's twice as good as some women's boyfriend's.

cptawesomesauce 0

Friday 20 January 2012 20:03

well I hear catcher in the rye is good

Admiral_Ferret 5

Friday 27 January 2012 0:22

LOL!! - I'm totally gonna do that to my girl, that's hilarious... and true!

CuteGamerGirl 2

Friday 27 January 2012 3:55

Haha your boyfriend sounds like a keeper! Congrats!!

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The Top

Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 178

The Top

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 30

Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 923

You deserved it 2 385

Today, I discovered that, because my boyfriend has locked himself out of his car so many times, he now keeps a coat hanger to break in. He keeps it IN the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 292

You deserved it 374

Today, I went through my boyfriend’s phone. He'd told his brothers, mom, and mutual friends that I was at a psych ward, after I went crazy. We have been back together for four months now after that situation, so no wonder I got the vibe they hate me. Why lie about something so stupid? FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 225

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 466

You deserved it 6 767

Today, I was excitedly celebrating my 21st birthday. I was heading my to my first club when my sister called and snarkly said, “Congratulations on being 21, hope you don’t get drugged, raped and murdered tonight!” She’s mad that she was pregnant on her 21st and didn’t get to go out, so she wanted to ruin mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 119