Intimacy: Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about...

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By VampiresSayRawr - 28/03/2009 03:16 - Canada

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 734

You deserved it 9 799

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Same thing different taste

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 542

You deserved it 6 873

Booktok

By eakthegeek - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 765

You deserved it 7 068

Booming

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 941

You deserved it 10 203

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 688

You deserved it 69 162

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 571

You deserved it 3 809

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 997

You deserved it 62 551

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 216

You deserved it 8 230

By apparently inexperienced - 11/09/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 774

You deserved it 6 498

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 485

You deserved it 6 681

By princess - 12/04/2014 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 598

You deserved it 7 165

dlogsr 1

Saturday 28 March 2009 11:13

maybe because you called it "intercourse".

danza_fml 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 10:49

30 seconds? No comment.

Comments

King_of_Kings 3

Saturday 28 March 2009 10:43

you don't turn him on

YUMmMm 0

Tuesday 20 April 2010 11:35

wow now that sux sorry OP 

Switchblade1212 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 11:43

NO SHIT.

danza_fml 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 10:49

30 seconds? No comment.

Bravewolf 15

Tuesday 9 February 2016 15:10

but.... you commented

Bravewolf 15

Tuesday 9 February 2016 15:12

but.... you commented

citylights 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 10:50

... that sucks.

Puolukka 4

Saturday 28 March 2009 10:52

Okay that is just weird...whether you're just not good in bed or just don't turn him on in general...I think you should talk about it and if that does nothing then you should leave him... I mean if he doesn't like the sex he could just say it and tell you what he likes...maybe your exboyfriends were satisfied with the way things were but he's not...and if he doesn't say anything about it then it's his own damn fault...and if he doesn't find you attractive then he shouldn't be dating you in the first place... I don't consider myself to be exceptionally hot or pretty, I'd say I'm average...and still my husband would always rather look at me or pictures of me than looking at ****...of course he watched **** as well on occasion...but when he had the choice he always chose me over ****...

nitrogirl 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 13:17

what's with the reallyy long comments?? no one takes time to read itt OP 30 sec?? really

CrazyDutch 0

Friday 5 November 2010 15:54

I did

flotar 0

Wednesday 1 December 2010 9:31

I didn't.

kiefenator 0

Friday 8 April 2011 2:24

td;lr

mk58 31

Sunday 11 September 2011 16:30

118, you got it wrong. It's: "tl;dr".

Blacksabbath211 9

Monday 17 October 2011 7:43

Just pointing out that maybe he likes her for her personality or something? (Never thought I'd hear this from myself), but there's more to relationships than just sex. Granted they should try to fix that up somehow, but still, he's with her and apparently it's not just for the sex so stop flipping shit.