Sex, Boredom and Love: Boredom - FML

Boredom

By alhummel21 - 12/02/2009 07:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181 803

You deserved it 52 063

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Same thing different taste

By Mr. Hopeless - 13/02/2009 21:59 - United States

Spicy

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 965

You deserved it 4 235

By ozzy - 06/11/2016 09:18 - United States - Campbell

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 893

You deserved it 1 162

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 757

You deserved it 2 891

By thedudeman14 - 05/11/2014 22:21 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 461

You deserved it 3 194

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 418

You deserved it 31 993

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 766

You deserved it 3 624

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Spicy

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 831

You deserved it 13 049

By SeeBrendenBurn - 21/11/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 791

You deserved it 5 679

By UnfortunatelySingle - 21/07/2015 06:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 442

You deserved it 3 385

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 128

You deserved it 23 509

Next

Top comments

csigabajnok 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 14:24

Why didn't you start texting too? Maybe you should have sent her a message to pay damn attention or something.

ohgeez 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 17:31

Hrmm....I'm not saying I'm amazing at it, but from what I can tell, texting is the last thing on the girls mind.... I'd actually be impressed if she could type complete sentences.

Comments

petagirl 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 6:27

you should probably become alot better at that... I've been on the recieving end before from guys who think they're fantastic... they're not and they wont take any pointers. Guys however, are always ready and willing to dish out the advice. sorry, had to say it

BurnMaster 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 10:12

Jewish American Princess from Newark...we talking in DE cause I know one from there and I'm the only dude that can make her cum from that she complains bout other dudes LOL.

skyttlz 32

Monday 9 January 2012 0:58

What

Heatstreak 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 1:33

fist her lmao JK

irish83 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 1:28

i know how you feel. that happened to me once

unbelievable1 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 19:21

Bite down. That'll get her attention. It might also get you a ticket to federal prison, but, eh, whatcha gunna do.I take my girls phone awayy when she comes overr hah

xGet_Over_It 0

Sunday 27 June 2010 15:57

you take her phone away? what are you, her dad? why would you take her phone away? that's just wrong.

ladybuggirl1234 3

Tuesday 17 July 2012 19:41

mabye he means when they are are going to have sex?

basketball03 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 22:27

ahahah FYL

ifeelbad4u 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:23

GRR u made me lose the game #47 -_-'

reesticles 0

Monday 9 March 2009 3:41

I could totally see my girlfriend doing the same thing! NOT! you must really suck at oral lol

asif_mylife 0

Monday 9 March 2009 20:03

umm you should ask her what she likes... that is if you like her otherwise... dump her! and that is coming from someone who has had to teach a couple of guys a couple of things! haha

Lovebug9 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:40

Practice makes perfect. Sad but true. I think it is better than faking it. Ask her what she wants you to do.

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The Top

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 008

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 809

You deserved it 9 769

The Top

Today, I hooked up with a guy on Tinder, but halfway through sex, his wife came home. As I stumbled back into my own house, I realised with my new lingerie and two lots of taxi fares, I’d spent £170 and all it got me was one glass of wine, one mouthful of cum, and a black eye from his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 1 595

Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 261

Today, as I was bent over drying my legs after a shower, my girlfriend snuck behind me and pulled a hair off my ballsack for absolutely no good reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 221

Today, I got called for a job interview. I didn't catch where it was, and in my excitement I forgot to ask. I now have no idea where I'm being interviewed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 697

You deserved it 35 187

Today, I went to visit my dad for the first time in over a year, as I have been studying for my Master's degree in history halfway across the world. The first thing he said to me? "So, gotten a real job yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 744

You deserved it 3 320

Today, I found out that I was being laid off via an email that wasn't even spell checked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 959

You deserved it 2 301