Health: Bushed out

Bushed out

By en3rg1zer21 - 06/08/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I was peeing when I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside, I got a new look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 430

You deserved it 9 539

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Same thing different taste

Go big or go home

By kinwar - 27/09/2021 07:01 - United States - Hamburg

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 126

Faulty plumbing

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 113

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 395

Procrastination

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 118

You deserved it 16 740

How smelly is your piss?

By Anonymous - 08/04/2021 21:00 - Finland

Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 154

By ydahs - 08/05/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 771

You deserved it 19 621

By lol - 06/12/2009 14:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 790

You deserved it 4 018

By jack the ripped - 30/04/2016 04:38 - United States

Today, while examining my busted nose in the mirror, I had a sneeze attack. Now it looks like someone got their throat slashed in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 110

You deserved it 1 472

By Darla - 05/10/2012 08:14 - United States - Arcadia

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 744

You deserved it 12 945

By anon - 27/03/2015 20:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 4 788

turtlegrl66 11

Saturday 6 August 2011 12:15

At least you can see an upside!

julieseattle 4

Saturday 6 August 2011 12:14

Oh Noooooo!!

Comments

Susieee_Q 9

Saturday 6 August 2011 12:33

Good job on being optimistic, at least. Change is good.

meggity 2

Saturday 6 August 2011 12:34

shaved is better anyway.

CloudEnvy 17

Saturday 6 August 2011 13:29

Showmehowtolive in the bush.

ScaughtieHolden 11

Saturday 6 August 2011 13:40

28 Doesn't know what sarcasm is. How sad.

CloudEnvy 17

Saturday 6 August 2011 14:03

Ahh the Amazonians.. You're a sharp one #34.

CloudEnvy 17

Saturday 6 August 2011 15:16

valdancer99 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 12:45

OP should meet a razor.

Mistery510 6

Saturday 6 August 2011 12:48

time to pull out the weed whacker!!!

weesh40 1

Saturday 6 August 2011 12:53

Time for some peanut butter!!!

narcosoldier 2

Saturday 6 August 2011 12:54

Dam try to grow an Afro down their

Squirrelx 5

Saturday 6 August 2011 17:22

There*

Opium_Production 5

Saturday 6 August 2011 13:14

This new look, is it a bald patch in the middle of a bush? That would be cool bro.

Steven696 6

Saturday 6 August 2011 14:28

Since it's opposite of the landing strip.. Would it be called a take off strip?

sparky_daisy 5

Saturday 6 August 2011 15:46

Otherwise known as a runway...

Opium_Production 5

Saturday 6 August 2011 20:34

It'd be a helicopter pad.

CharlieeMurphy 0

Saturday 6 August 2011 13:37

Obviously they didn't if they "got a new look".....dumbass

Deathhound 27

Saturday 6 August 2011 13:38

Haha :P

rkg0o18 7

Saturday 6 August 2011 13:41

Don't worry. It'll grow back :)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

Today, I took my 8 year-old daughter to an airplane museum to show her the kinds of aircraft I’ve worked on during my 30+ year career. In the first 15 minutes, I had grease on my new shirt, bumped my head, spilled coffee and cut my hand. Sums up my career. Only 10 more years to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, after my naked husband farted in my face because he’s an immature man child who refuses to act his age, this morning I woke up with raging pink eye. I’m half blind and I’m supposed to be taking my driving test this afternoon. I can’t see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 242

Today, after months of not wanting anything to do with her dad, my three-year-old was over her phase. During dinner, I play-shoved my husband and he did it back. Our daughter saw him and now keeps saying, "It’s not nice to push mommy." We’re back to square one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 283

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, then said, "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but… nevermind", shook his head and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 380

You deserved it 26 620

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 289

You deserved it 7 464

Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 427

You deserved it 2 763

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 537

You deserved it 19 901

Bushed out

Same thing different taste

Go big or go home

Faulty plumbing

AKA taking a screenshot

Procrastination

How smelly is your piss?

Top comments

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