Dogs, Cars and Animals: Call the cops

Call the cops

By sammatthews2007 - 25/02/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 491

You deserved it 7 497

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Same thing different taste

By ciararow - 14/04/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 143

You deserved it 26 206

Doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 15/02/2021 21:30

Today, someone let my puppy escape. I didn't know, until I arrived home and hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 108

How dare you?

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 20:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and the words "Fuck you." Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 393

You deserved it 2 597

By anonymous - 19/07/2012 23:56 - United States - La Verne

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 795

You deserved it 41 743

Bad boy

By VtecKickIn - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was driving home with my girlfriend. As we turned onto our block, she shrieked that our dog was running down the street and into traffic. I jumped out of the moving car and chased him for about a mile, only to give up, go home, and find out it wasn't our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 216

You deserved it 5 801

By The_Waffle - 14/05/2016 17:17 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 588

You deserved it 918

By GotMyBitchBack - 05/09/2013 11:02 - United States - Zanesville

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 522

You deserved it 3 046

By Anonymous - 23/04/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 102

You deserved it 4 176

Caught in 4K

By BrutallyBlonde - 31/12/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 848

You deserved it 56 786

By stinky skunk - 05/09/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 698

You deserved it 6 194

amelinat 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 12:46

The crazy woman needs professional help - call the police, get your dog back and get her sectioned.

curious_missy 1

Wednesday 25 February 2009 12:21

FML for the getting back of puppies!!! UNITE!!!!

Comments

arms_akimbo 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 16:42

Paintball paint washes off easy, but call the cops. Bitch is craaaaaaazy.

no_fml 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 17:33

get your dog!

Amkii 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 17:39

Bitch be crazy! I agree with #3. Call the police! I think you stand a good chance of getting some compensation... and your dog.

fcryingoutloud 9

Wednesday 25 February 2009 18:42

#10 and #17, what the hell is wrong with you?

amandabee 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 18:43

what a bitch!

banksyface 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 19:00

Seriously, dude. Call the cops.

Nixy_fml 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 19:23

(gasp!) You NEVER involve the pets. NEVER. Definitely call the cops on her.

beerpong26 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 19:35

i feel you, i broke up with my gf the other day and she went crazy. all girls are crazy

Enkeria 30

Wednesday 8 April 2015 4:15

Wow. Really? Not all girls are crazy.

xelectrickiss 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 21:03

ohh. get the nut arrested. and a restraining order for you and your dog might be in order. :] good luckkk.

mysecondskin 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 22:06

WHAT THE ****! get your dog back! call the cops!

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 653

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I went clothes shopping for an upcoming wedding trip to Mexico. He wanted a dressing room fashion show to approve what I would buy. I’m 40. Last time I did this, I was in grade school. Maybe I shouldn’t go on the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 190

Today, I found out my new boyfriend owns, and regularly drives, a forty year-old, smog-spewing sports car. I asked him if he'd ever consider upgrading to electric for the sake of the environment. He said that we wouldn't work out, and that I should leave and lose his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 1 707

Today, my employer fired me, less than a week before I could become permanent full-time staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 135

Today, I figured out my girlfriend's mother has various nicknames for me. My girlfriend and her family are from Poland and speak on the phone in their native tongue, but they don’t know I’ve been learning the language either. I heard her call me “idiot”, “loser”, “moron” and various other “nicknames” multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 120

Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 239

Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 641

You deserved it 85 343