It sounds to me like the poor sod just got stage fright. "Slay your pussy" and "wench" are not the words you would think of when trying to seduce someone, they're what you scream mid-action when your mouth starts running in neutral. Maybe some firmer direction is needed for next time, good luck!

Seriously? You asked him for spontaneity, he gives it to you, and then you complain. I say good for him for trying to make you happy. I do hope you didn't hurt his ego for it.

That is the best thing iv ever herd

Husbands account: Today my wife complained to me, asking for me to be more spontaneous in bed. I tried by dressing up and assuming a dominant pirate act. She's now complaining at that. It seems I just can't satisfy her no matter how much I try. FML.

What a champ!!

I think that's sexy ;D

I got a great laugh from that. Thanks!!!

Well at least your husband is listening to you.

Whether you "deserved" it or not, that's pretty funny!

Oh god,now I know why people put "this made my day" in comments. I was having a really shit day and it ends with me picturing this and laughing so hard I nearly fall off my bed.