Miscellaneous: Casual…

Casual…

By bnc - 14/12/2013 22:39 - United States - Jefferson City

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were, "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 048

You deserved it 4 040

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By thank u usa - 13/12/2013 22:20 - Germany

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 084

You deserved it 3 569

U wot m8?

By _Asykes_ - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 092

You deserved it 2 495

I'll leave you to it then…

By scared shitless in ohio - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Dublin

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 322

You deserved it 5 638

Annoying and creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Singapore

Today, my coworker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 314

You deserved it 2 797

Scheißleben

By LearnGeographyUSA - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kirkland

Today, and for the past 13 months, I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 119

You deserved it 2 968

By Jessica - 19/10/2023 16:25 - United States

Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 052

You deserved it 3 506

Scammed

By mohit - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that my neighbor's son is supposed to be giving me gas money for driving him to school each morning. He's using it to buy drugs instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 134

You deserved it 457

Dad pranks '09

By PISSED - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Germany

Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I called her to find out where she lives. She answered the phone, only to hear my father yelling in the background, "STOP TALKING TO THAT WHORE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 670

You deserved it 5 305

Brain worms

By smooth - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 880

You deserved it 19 107

Believe in your dreams

By ZAS - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year-old boy asked me, "What do you do when you really want something?" I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best. He ended up stealing from the donation box and when he was caught he said that I told him to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 166

You deserved it 6 382

jillytc 23

Sunday 15 December 2013 2:09

just teach him all the wrong words, so instead of "where is this place" he says "I am a ********"

rocker_chick105 31

Sunday 15 December 2013 2:15

Because this is so much worse than the racial slurs of the 1950s

Comments

Jennaflamingo 14

Sunday 15 December 2013 3:13

I hate people sometimes.. :

RenoTheRhino 30

Sunday 15 December 2013 3:21

Teach him a ton of rude words and profanity and say that they are "please" and "thank you" or "hello" and "bye!"

blackonblight 32

Monday 16 December 2013 5:53

Japanese doesn't have the same concept of profanity as English, a lot of things depend on context or word form, the same word in one situation or using one suffix would be what you expect to hear from a holy man giving blessing, while another context or suffix with the same word would get you seen as a sexual deviant. Now, only teaching him the impolite forms of speech, only the least appropriate terms for things, that while technically accurate will be like going out of your way to use every Un-PC term possible. But just not teaching the ass is probably easier.

BAD2891 4

Sunday 15 December 2013 3:42

Get used to it man. After he leaves some other shit head from your school will come along. Then when you go away to college there will be another shit head, and once you get a job out in the real world there will be a whole lot of shitheads.