Intimacy: Cheeky

Cheeky

By woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 233

You deserved it 3 609

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 541

You deserved it 48 715

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 772

You deserved it 4 725

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 999

You deserved it 8 945

By embarassed - 21/04/2011 03:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 347

You deserved it 12 939

FML: Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/01/2012 02:00 - United States

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 726

You deserved it 4 422

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 15:50 - United States

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 537

You deserved it 9 415

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 6 832

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 191

You deserved it 6 723

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 269

You deserved it 62 389

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 751

boopityboppity 11

Monday 8 March 2010 1:26

Perhaps he lent it to a friend? Or it's just a really big coincidence? Or... Yeah, he cheated on you. FYL.

YOUbeTROLLIN 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:28

if the room was dark you could've knocked out the girl he was with and just take her spot.

Comments

smashleighfig 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:54

Then you joined them right? hah

perdix 29

Monday 8 March 2010 1:56

You should have got yourself to the kitchen and made them both sammiches. Y'know, to show them you have no hard feelings. Even though she felt his hardness.

shtuff 0

Monday 8 March 2010 4:44

If anyone ever had an online hero, Perdix would have to be that hero

benen 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:57

yeah umm why wud people have sex with someone on the floor espically if it's ur girlfriend. fake

fisheatsbear 6

Monday 8 March 2010 4:30

wow. you just bleed stupidity. for one, they were probably drunk and didn't really care to look around the room. two, they didn't think that there was anyone else in the room because the op was on the floor on the other side.

jcfan101 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:58

awwuh what a man *****

kBzee 3

Monday 8 March 2010 1:59

This is BS...you gotta be hella stupid to not notice somethin like that. FAKE!!!

pleasenopuffin 0

Monday 8 March 2010 2:16

You've gotta be hella stupid to not believe one like this. Go die in a corner with all your stupid friends.

jtaylor147 0

Monday 8 March 2010 2:00

Ahh! fyl, but im still not sure why if you were at the party together you werent together when you were sleeping anyway ... and if you werent at the party together how did you not notice each other? ...