Miscellaneous: Chill out, mom - FML

Chill out, mom

By chasingcars0624 - 28/08/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 966

You deserved it 13 188

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 22:23 - United States

Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 157

You deserved it 4 856

Not now, Doris

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my mom is in the hospital and I'm sitting by the phone in case anyone calls with news. Each time the phone rings, I bolt upright to answer it. So far I've been woken up by two telemarketers, three robo-calls, and some old lady asking for Doris, who doesn't live here. I can't turn my phone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 85

It's just me

By Anonymous - 20/02/2020 01:00

Today, I stopped by my elderly mother’s house to drop off some groceries. I decided to clean the place while I was there, just to be nice. In true Three Bears fashion, I fell asleep on the couch. I was awoken by a police officer pointing his gun at me. My mom woke up and thought I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 333

By Sarah - 26/01/2013 05:14 - United States

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 2 479

By annoyed - 20/02/2013 20:33 - United States - Paradise Valley

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 198

You deserved it 2 770

By ipayyourbillsgorramit - 24/08/2012 23:29 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 1 908

By lonely - 05/02/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 614

You deserved it 3 267

By No-Sleep Nellie - 07/07/2015 13:26 - United States - Waterloo

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 935

You deserved it 1 721

By Tired - 05/08/2010 18:38 - United States

Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 660

You deserved it 3 769

By maf811 - 07/11/2011 12:13 - United States

Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 031

You deserved it 2 793

Next

Top comments

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 29 August 2009 9:13

When did she call the cops? Why would they show up at 3am? I mean, if you were really dead, you'd still be dead, at lets say... Nine. In the afternoon. (;

Ashleyxphobia 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 9:07

At least she cares.

Comments

FoundManyLemons 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 2:51

YDI. At least tell her you're too busy to chat.

liveandletlive89 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 4:26

YDI hands down. Your mom is your mom is your mom. Idgaf, you don't ignore her.

777_alex_777 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 4:33

... she doesnt call u, but she calls the police?

allie2590 31

Sunday 30 August 2009 5:47

And she didn't consider that you might've been sleeping at 3 AM?

ghostgirll 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 5:51

wow this is really fake. why would she call the police at 3am? even if you had been ignoring her for some time, she wouldn't pick the middle of the night to freak out, this just makes no sense lol

Shyman4ever 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 9:24

******* overprotective mom, tell her to **** off

DRY0YRD 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 11:55

At least she didn't assume you were dead and not call the cops. No offense, but besides the fact that she's overprotective, she also seems pretty stupid. Shouldn't she have first assumed that you were possibly sleeping at three AM? Oh, and for everyone saying "You deserve it for ignoring your mother," I don't think you're empathzing with the OP. I dont know how many of you have annoying mothers, but I do and at times it's better to ignore her than snap at her from vexation.

PurpDOODE 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 19:55

THIS FML IS A WIN!

Miss_Latte 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 23:05

lmao wow that really sucks, but my mom is the same way.. I was sleeping and she called like 5 times at 7am and came all the way home from her work downtown because I didn't answer 0_o

SS_Anon 0

Monday 31 August 2009 5:53

lol lesson learned, never ignore mommy :D

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 885

You deserved it 61 104

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 1 441

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I went out to neighbour's just down the street and left my 12 and 14 year-old daughters at home. The 12 year-old found the fire extinguisher and thought it was whipped cream, put it in her mouth, and tried to eat it. The 14 year-old didn't even bother to call us. Luckily, the 12 year-old is fine, the stuff was safe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 343

Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 403

You deserved it 3 631

Today, I was telling my dad about plans to go out late for a few drinks next week. My dad started his usual "YOU COULD GET RAPED!" lecture, before my brother sprang to my defence, "It's not like she's what they're after, is she?" Apparently, rapists are out of my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 229

You deserved it 4 950

Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 291

You deserved it 4 756

Today, my father complained to me about his lack of money. He makes twice as much as me, and doesn't pay rent, electricity or water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 765

You deserved it 1 295

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 457

You deserved it 9 476