Miscellaneous: Classy night out

Classy night out

By thanks - 01/03/2014 17:23 - Australia - Blackburn

Today, my friends convinced me to go out clubbing with them for the first time. "You'll get some action", they said. The only action I got was some drunk bloke staggering into me and spraying me with vomit just minutes after arriving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 272

You deserved it 4 144

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By lehonj49 - 21/06/2013 16:10 - Australia - Burwood

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 856

You deserved it 3 688

By brittney242 - 17/12/2016 10:03 - United States - Stow

Today, while at a night club, I was wearing a brand new outfit that I absolutely loved. I was enjoying myself until I felt something wet drop onto my head and body from above. It was puke from a drunk guy in the V.I.P. section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 652

You deserved it 646

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 21:28 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 540

You deserved it 3 197

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 21 643

By Med - 13/11/2012 12:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 792

You deserved it 2 975

Sounds like quite the catch

By Brooke - 14/08/2015 16:50 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred, "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 795

You deserved it 2 358

By Anon - 11/09/2016 07:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 201

You deserved it 1 701

By Thefaller - 11/07/2019 16:00

Today, I went to my first university party already a little drunk. I perched on the end of a table to cool off from the dancing and the whole table tipped over and dumped me onto the floor. I was promptly laughed out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 882

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 254

You deserved it 382

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 324

You deserved it 3 408

a_wiener_d0g 15

Sunday 2 March 2014 2:20

Chip, penny, and used napkin. The gangs all here

Mauskau 35

Sunday 2 March 2014 1:54

This is why I stay indoors.

Comments

PatandIsabella 4

Sunday 2 March 2014 2:53

And this is why we stay in ....

mahughes 19

Sunday 2 March 2014 3:04

Yeah get some!

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 2 March 2014 3:06

Other than that did you have fun and get action?

jtthegr8 26

Sunday 2 March 2014 3:55

"The only action I got[...]"

jazzy_123 20

Sunday 2 March 2014 3:56

I highly doubt he got action after being puked on..

Patty410 11

Sunday 2 March 2014 3:16

At least you didn't get arrested for breach of the peace, unlike some people.

donkinator 24

Sunday 2 March 2014 3:46

that blows...

Posthuman 26

Sunday 2 March 2014 20:40

Chunks.

awilliams44 9

Sunday 2 March 2014 4:09

shower time

Witchylady 17

Sunday 2 March 2014 4:10

Yuck. So gross. Did you vomit back in his face?

frizz101 22

Sunday 2 March 2014 6:16

I've never understood why people just go to clubs to "get some action?"

yoursucklives 36

Sunday 2 March 2014 20:55

because people like sex

patrickalamo 47

Sunday 2 March 2014 6:21

What do you expect when you go to a dumpster for a hook up

alicat13 12

Sunday 2 March 2014 7:52

Internet dating gets you lots of action. I went from Super Nerd to Super Stud. Could not keep up. :-) Just be prepared to meet some crazies and always wear protection.