Miscellaneous: Classy night out

Classy night out

By thanks - 01/03/2014 17:23 - Australia - Blackburn

Today, my friends convinced me to go out clubbing with them for the first time. "You'll get some action", they said. The only action I got was some drunk bloke staggering into me and spraying me with vomit just minutes after arriving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 271

You deserved it 4 144

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Same thing different taste

By lehonj49 - 21/06/2013 16:10 - Australia - Burwood

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 853

You deserved it 3 688

By brittney242 - 17/12/2016 10:03 - United States - Stow

Today, while at a night club, I was wearing a brand new outfit that I absolutely loved. I was enjoying myself until I felt something wet drop onto my head and body from above. It was puke from a drunk guy in the V.I.P. section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 651

You deserved it 646

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 21:28 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 540

You deserved it 3 197

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 21 639

By Med - 13/11/2012 12:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 790

You deserved it 2 974

Sounds like quite the catch

By Brooke - 14/08/2015 16:50 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred, "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 792

You deserved it 2 358

By Anon - 11/09/2016 07:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 198

You deserved it 1 701

By Thefaller - 11/07/2019 16:00

Today, I went to my first university party already a little drunk. I perched on the end of a table to cool off from the dancing and the whole table tipped over and dumped me onto the floor. I was promptly laughed out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 429

You deserved it 881

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 253

You deserved it 381

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 322

You deserved it 3 408

a_wiener_d0g 15

Sunday 2 March 2014 2:20

Chip, penny, and used napkin. The gangs all here

Mauskau 35

Sunday 2 March 2014 1:54

This is why I stay indoors.

Comments

SexySlayer1248 18

Sunday 2 March 2014 1:52

I think I would swing at someone who did that to me

SonyIsGod 13

Sunday 2 March 2014 12:09

Lol you deserved it for trying to, "get some action," from women at a bar. Stuff like this is why women think guys are scumbags.

MrRazzle 4

Sunday 2 March 2014 13:17

Some girls go 'to get action' too you you know. Not all, but enough.

R3TROxLOV3 32

Sunday 2 March 2014 17:45

No 42, stuff like that isn't why women think guys are douche bags. Douche baggery generally only comes into play when the guy (or girl, it goes both ways) is way too aggressive, and doesn't seem to understand the concept of rejection. Going into a club filled with young people looking for a good time with the hope of getting laid doesn't make him a douche bag.

Mauskau 35

Sunday 2 March 2014 1:54

This is why I stay indoors.

ber4fun13 10

Sunday 2 March 2014 2:13

Exactly, a quiet night at home with a small group of friends is all I need.

a_wiener_d0g 15

Sunday 2 March 2014 2:20

Chip, penny, and used napkin. The gangs all here

LowExpectations 30

Sunday 2 March 2014 3:31

All I need is my imagination. Not much else to do here in my padded one room apartment. Isn't that right Mr. Sock hand? (Goofy voice) "Uh yup yup Mr. Saxon, you got that right" . Mwahahahaha.

AlexRen 21

Sunday 2 March 2014 4:19

Low expectations named matched his comment so accurately.

Koalax3 18

Sunday 2 March 2014 6:59

What's that magical place where no one gets hurt? Oh right ! INDOORS .

FMLkoala 28

Sunday 2 March 2014 7:41

#11 all I need is some food and a computer

chris_42 11

Sunday 2 March 2014 2:01

OP's name just adds to the FML.

olpally 32

Sunday 2 March 2014 2:03

Great username! Haha, hope you punched him for doing that.

jtthegr8 26

Sunday 2 March 2014 2:03

Never trust friends when they say anything about getting action. Or relevant.

Nilorak 24

Sunday 2 March 2014 2:04

That will be a funny story to tell your grandchildren.

hanner12 13

Sunday 2 March 2014 3:01

No it won't...

FMLkoala 28

Sunday 2 March 2014 7:43

Hey kids one time in 2014 60 years ago I went clubbing to get drunk and have sex but instead I got vomited on by a drunk man

PrincessCastiel 27

Sunday 2 March 2014 2:05

After the person vomited on you, that was probably why you didnt get any more action that night. Considering you most likely smelled of vomit and had it all over your clothes. But I'm so sorry OP! You'll have a better time next time... if there is a next time that is

LusciousBaby23 11

Sunday 2 March 2014 4:53

what does OP mean ?

kangx1 28

Sunday 2 March 2014 5:16

Original poster in this case meaning the person who wrote the FML on a thread you'd call the person who make the thread an OP since they're the first person to post aka the original poster