Intimacy: Close but no BJ

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 675

You deserved it 12 201

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 733

You deserved it 25 776

Spit or Swallow?

By buymeflavoredlube - 05/06/2018 05:00

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 747

You deserved it 974

Double standard

By NoSexForMe - 13/07/2014 07:46 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 813

You deserved it 8 659

By Anonymous - 04/12/2010 00:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 066

You deserved it 5 900

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 910

You deserved it 38 047

Bad timing

By Proprepourtant - 16/04/2011 11:28 - France

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 952

You deserved it 12 577

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 651

You deserved it 29 364

By soisblueballsdickhead - 26/10/2014 14:25 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 041

You deserved it 9 713

Bummed out

By Anon - 11/11/2023 04:00

Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 789

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 423

You deserved it 4 625

escape2music 0

Friday 7 August 2009 20:04

try brushing your teeth?

OneandOnlyOne 0

Friday 7 August 2009 20:28

Never ever offer to do it again. If he hints that he wants one, tell him his penis isn't clean enough for your mouth. He sounds like a REAL moron!

Comments

Paige_Nicole10 0

Friday 7 August 2009 23:46

a sign you need to brush your damn teeth

hotpockets92 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 0:59

haha, just what i was thinking. who is he to complain. he's probably got some STD he doesnt want you to know about from ******* other girls the ungrateful bastard

Knight05 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 1:39

It could be worse your girlfriend could be black, and then it would feel like getting sucked off by a greasy piece of KFC chicken with a mouth at the end of it. God how I love the smell of baby oil.

robinsonje5 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 2:38

man f you douchebag!

hello2009 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 1:51

oh god,i would be so uncomfortable around him after that,i think thats very rude of him,i hoped you told him that lmao

blueworld_fml 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 2:30

Boyfriend has some serious problems here...I'm with the others in saying that his dick is probably too small, esp. if he's been kissing on you. Frankly, I'd dump him...maybe what he said isn't that bad, but that he would insult you while you try to do something so...nice...for him is a sign of a dumbass.

_julia 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 3:22

you should have asked him if he had any orbit :)

jam_21 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 3:24

YDI for trying to do it in a car.... eww! get a room!

9az00 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 3:26

dirty mouth? clean it up with Orbitz gum! FTW!!

bexox 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 3:26

So there's 2 ways this could go: 1. You've got some nasty periodontitis. 2. He needs to work out some of that germophobia in therapy. You're pretty much gonna get fecal matter in your mouth some how from daily life, so why even worry? That's what them 'munities is foar!