Porn and Intimacy: Collector's items - FML

Collector's items

By Username - 21/04/2011 18:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines had been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 220

You deserved it 55 682

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Same thing different taste

By waitwhat - 18/03/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Spicy

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 798

You deserved it 60 339

By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 212

You deserved it 39 612

By wow - 28/11/2011 01:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 920

You deserved it 2 071

Old school cool

By Chimychunga - 01/08/2010 06:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 327

You deserved it 5 644

By ;)loganberry(; - 27/12/2011 17:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 691

You deserved it 50 416

By bipbip - 12/11/2008 07:53 - France

Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 344

You deserved it 68 792

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 785

You deserved it 32 357

Scarred a generation

By nbj10 - 31/05/2013 22:42 - Singapore - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 275

You deserved it 15 385

By Natalie - 02/03/2010 22:05 - Canada

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 428

You deserved it 5 237

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 14:44 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 731

You deserved it 45 205

Next

Top comments

browntiga 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 23:16

that's for being an idiot and not using the internet for ****

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Friday 22 April 2011 0:21

All this **** talk... I know what I'm doing for the rest of the day ;D See y'all laterr

Comments

brittp 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 0:42

bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

somerandomdude89 0

Monday 2 May 2011 1:46

truthfully sex is more satisfying

tylerpienta 6

Tuesday 10 May 2011 0:05

bruh or girl ??? :p tht SUCKS tht why u use Internet

gagaman_fml 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 2:37

tube8.com gaytube.com baitbus.com

I'madumbass 19

Friday 7 July 2017 18:16

That is what my parents would do if I ever told them I would like to know more about this stuff. Or just stop being sheltered in general. I don't even get a lot of basic sex jokes, and I have to look up a bunch of.............interesting things since downloading this app!!!! Keep it coming, people. I wanna learn (and sorry about the censors, OP).

I'madumbass 19

Friday 7 July 2017 18:18

Notice my username. It's there for a reason. ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 612

You deserved it 3 895

Today, I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missed the bus, waited half an hour for the second, and arrived just in time to hear the policemen say, "Party's over. Get outta here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 194

You deserved it 8 079

The Top

Today, despite being innocent, I’m out $10,000 for bail, lawyers, and missed work. We haven’t even got a trial date yet, and if it goes to trial I’m out another $5000. Then I might have to go to jail. Oh and my employer just cut my pay and bonuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 163

Today, I found out that, while not exactly probable, it is definitely possible to squirt yourself in the eye with breast milk. It burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 194

You deserved it 532

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 723

You deserved it 3 938

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 838

You deserved it 3 514

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 827

You deserved it 2 653

Today, is January 1st. Last night, I threw a party. Only 3 people came. Luckily, one of the people who came was the love of my life, I had been hoping to get a midnight kiss from him. Unluckly, he decided to get back with his ex-girlfriend. At my party. They were liplocked almost the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 281

You deserved it 4 548