Porn and Intimacy: Collector's items - FML

Collector's items

By Username - 21/04/2011 18:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines had been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 220

You deserved it 55 682

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Same thing different taste

By waitwhat - 18/03/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Spicy

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 798

You deserved it 60 339

By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 212

You deserved it 39 612

By wow - 28/11/2011 01:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 920

You deserved it 2 071

Old school cool

By Chimychunga - 01/08/2010 06:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 327

You deserved it 5 644

By ;)loganberry(; - 27/12/2011 17:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 691

You deserved it 50 416

By bipbip - 12/11/2008 07:53 - France

Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 344

You deserved it 68 792

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 785

You deserved it 32 356

Scarred a generation

By nbj10 - 31/05/2013 22:42 - Singapore - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 275

You deserved it 15 385

By Natalie - 02/03/2010 22:05 - Canada

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 428

You deserved it 5 237

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 14:44 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 731

You deserved it 45 205

Next

Top comments

browntiga 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 23:16

that's for being an idiot and not using the internet for ****

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Friday 22 April 2011 0:21

All this **** talk... I know what I'm doing for the rest of the day ;D See y'all laterr

Comments

Briggz_Country 0

Friday 22 April 2011 20:45

if only that was true....

tbonea1990 0

Friday 22 April 2011 22:48

the internet is free **** and more often than a magazine

KTemple143 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 2:00

Haha.

margie2194 12

Saturday 23 April 2011 2:25

Pornhub ;)

ganja_warrior88 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 3:32

wonder who did it?

elogon 3

Saturday 23 April 2011 3:43

should have hid them better

FreakOfNature332 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 6:03

Haha this made me laugh :D yur not smart it called the internet !!!!

NAking13 4

Saturday 23 April 2011 7:51

"the Internet is for ****, the Internet is for ****!"

Dr_JuanDiaz 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 8:02

xhamster is best if used on an iPod or iPhone

melisa_hope 9

Saturday 23 April 2011 12:35

LOL!

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Keywords

Party Awkward Lonely Love Transportation Cars ADHD Work Mental health Ironic Vacation Grandparents Accident Miscellaneous Kids Annoying Covid Health Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Sex Intimacy Exhausted My ex

The Top

Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 134

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 827

You deserved it 55 001

The Top

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a regular check up. They found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, so I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was hickeys from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 1 731

Today, my sister set it so all the Yahoo articles I read are published on my Facebook wall. This would have been fine had I not decided to read, "Does the gynecologist care if you shave?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 507

You deserved it 5 379

Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. i swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 214

Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 938

You deserved it 2 441

Today, my wife opted for a home birth with a nurse and her mother. Her mother is such a baby-feral, men-are-bastards, hippie feminist dragon that not only did she yell at me when I tried to be in the room, she has now pushed me out of the house. I ended up sat in my car with only one shoe and no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 207

Today, my boyfriend proposed with the perfect ring, restaurant, flowers, and champagne. He’s never been this well prepared for anything in his life, so he admitted that my mother planned the whole thing and forced him to propose, even though neither of us want to get married. She even bought the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 285

You deserved it 166