Intimacy: Come again?

Come again?

By Smash_Mouth - 08/03/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible, so I spoke to my window, thinking she couldn't hear me, "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 573

You deserved it 87 003

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By embarrassed - 21/07/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 781

You deserved it 117 685

By queenbitch - 20/04/2015 01:39 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 877

You deserved it 30 700

Dingus

By Anonymous - 26/06/2010 13:24 - Tanzania United Republic of

Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 807

You deserved it 66 025

Cool moves

By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 020

You deserved it 82 826

It's not what you think, sorry

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 07:04 - United States

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 332

You deserved it 10 235

By Anonymous - 24/02/2014 15:21 - United States

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 077

You deserved it 51 907

Play it cool

By NathanPlays - 23/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 099

You deserved it 20 254

By mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 155

You deserved it 4 705

Ostentatious

By dgordo3 - 09/02/2009 01:01 - United States

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 424

You deserved it 46 473

By wench - 23/12/2010 20:39 - United States

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 557

You deserved it 36 628

Esperantist 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 15:20

This is where you point to your non-existent bluetooth headset on the side of your head facing away from her and say "Ha, this lady thought I was talking to her- Sorry Miss!"

Hgm09 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 15:27

So now, not only did you announce your inadequate penis size to this young woman, but you've managed to tell the rest of the world, too. I mean, it's not really a big deal, but you obviously care enough to be embarassed that she heard you. You're pretty dumb.

Comments

yellowtulip36 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 6:49

Sounds like my ex-boyfriend....

eridania13 4

Wednesday 25 August 2010 2:06

lmfaoo!!

lovesxbox 0

Monday 27 December 2010 16:23

#35 I'm a girl and I like it fast. besides, I think its nice to hear an honest guy. I am personally tired of all the big penis guy talk. So I say honesty points, but its just not funny. Sorry op

Ak30 5

Thursday 9 June 2011 21:58

and I like you!(:

duburich 0

Friday 4 February 2011 15:50

no game in what you said whatsoever.. even if the window was down bro haha that's funny.. chicks don't only care about dick size.. it plays a factor but if u know u can give em a mind blowing ****** they shouldn't say anything as long as you seem confident and know what you sayin.. just use retarded subtle lines.. just say "my dick need to go six inches under" or something stupid and every girl will go for it if u treat em right..