Intimacy: Come again?

Come again?

By Smash_Mouth - 08/03/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible, so I spoke to my window, thinking she couldn't hear me, "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 573

You deserved it 87 003

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Same thing different taste

By embarrassed - 21/07/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 781

You deserved it 117 685

By queenbitch - 20/04/2015 01:39 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 877

You deserved it 30 700

Dingus

By Anonymous - 26/06/2010 13:24 - Tanzania United Republic of

Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 807

You deserved it 66 025

Cool moves

By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 020

You deserved it 82 826

It's not what you think, sorry

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 07:04 - United States

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 332

You deserved it 10 235

By Anonymous - 24/02/2014 15:21 - United States

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 077

You deserved it 51 907

Play it cool

By NathanPlays - 23/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 099

You deserved it 20 254

By mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 155

You deserved it 4 705

Ostentatious

By dgordo3 - 09/02/2009 01:01 - United States

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 424

You deserved it 46 473

By wench - 23/12/2010 20:39 - United States

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 557

You deserved it 36 628

Esperantist 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 15:20

This is where you point to your non-existent bluetooth headset on the side of your head facing away from her and say "Ha, this lady thought I was talking to her- Sorry Miss!"

Hgm09 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 15:27

So now, not only did you announce your inadequate penis size to this young woman, but you've managed to tell the rest of the world, too. I mean, it's not really a big deal, but you obviously care enough to be embarassed that she heard you. You're pretty dumb.

Comments

jaddy1294 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 21:25

wow at least you arent retarded or anything

zillia_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 21:58

hahahahaha, u have a small one!!! why would u tell someone that? idiot

TBU1220 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 22:31

daamn u dumb as hell u dnt tell a bitch u gotta small dick thts madd funny though id be like baby i was on the phone but it aint like it sounds i swear haha

Kurabsence 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 18:13

You look like and sound like a retard... Tell me, is one of your hobbies slamming your skull into a wall? =0

smartalek 2

Wednesday 22 June 2011 18:07

You sir, cannot spell. You also have below average grammar skills. Meaning below a toddler's average, of course. I know this is the internet, but make an effort to protect your own dignity.

Vinny66 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 22:33

Not an FML

marris 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 22:51

girls don't like it fast - so basically you told her you were a loser twice

rushgirl 6

Wednesday 29 December 2010 16:28

I would like it fast

mariposa93 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:26

#1 is the right answer. And #35, I think we're talking about thrusting speed, not event speed here. In which case, you're wrong.

Burgundy 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:34

i thought the shit was funny as all hell

friedman_fml 0

Monday 9 March 2009 3:03

its more funny than anything else

spiggle4 0

Monday 9 March 2009 3:04

you cocky son of a bitch. ur awesome lol

wrestler_fml 0

Monday 9 March 2009 3:08

#1, that's brilliant!!! I doubt i'd ever be either stupid (or "chauvinist pig" like the one person said) enough to actually say somethign like that, or something really embarrassing or stupid, especially in a car.... but if I'm ever caught in that situation, I'm definitely doing that! LOL