Food and Miscellaneous: Complicated - FML

Complicated

By mylifeissad - 30/12/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 273

You deserved it 37 959

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Same thing different taste

Influencer brain

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 22:00 - United States - Bisbee

Today, I decided to be adventurous and try a new exotic fruit. I bought a dragon fruit, but no one warned me that it looks better on Instagram than it tastes. Now I have a fridge full of disappointment and a dragon fruit that's more like a dragon letdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 636

Adulting is tough

By Anonymous - 10/08/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, in last ditch attempt to be an adult, I trotted out to do my grocery shopping for the week. As I confidently strode through the produce aisle, I grabbed what I thought was a nice, ripe mango. At checkout, the cashier kindly informed me it was in fact a massive potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 531

That makes sense

By HistoryHasEyes - 04/09/2020 23:01

Today, I was working in the produce department at my work. A lady came in to return some mangos. I asked her what the problem with the mangoes was. She said she didn't like the way they were talking to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 121

By Anonymous - 10/02/2016 18:36 - United States - Milford

Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 330

You deserved it 2 015

A Losing Battle Is Raging

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa–Gatineau

Today, I realized I’d been walking around a small grocery store for 10 minutes holding an avocado I grabbed but didn’t need. Too embarrassed to put it back, I guess I’m buying an avocado. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 481

By cleb - 22/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that the seeds of the Cherimoya fruit are toxic. I found out by eating the entire fruit, including all seeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 419

You deserved it 1 041

Deluxe Memory Man

By St Steven - 15/04/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping but once at the store I realized that I'd forgotten my shopping list at home. I ended up buying a bunch of random items using basic guesswork and forgetting what I had originally gone to the store for. I now have two avocados, even though I hate avocados. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 1 238

By Rochelle - 25/07/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 102

You deserved it 29 257

By anonymous - 05/04/2012 21:53 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 665

You deserved it 28 900

Poisoning

By anon - 07/11/2012 23:28 - United States

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 737

You deserved it 1 824

Next

Top comments

CinderChicken 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:49

Clearly, the OP hit enter before they finished typing. I imagine the whole thing would read: "Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet, because my jaw got wired shut and I need the specific vitamins in mangos to survive. Turns out, the only way to absorb them is to now use my whole mango as a suppository. FML." -or something to that effect. :D

shelboo_fml 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:09

This is a lame fml to approve. Just slightly.

Comments

rotyeqnor 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:33

op's life is not f---ed, it's just meaningless and average

FortuneFaded 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:33

Wow, your life is so messed up OP. I feel so sorry for you.

coffee_addict7 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:38

How on earth is this an FML?

vermillionlove 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:39

OMG, how unfortunate!

xkaokaox 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:46

peel it...... take the seed out. eat it. YUM YUM. shit it out later. GG.

CallMeHush 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:46

You couldn't figure out how to eat fruit? Please report to the nearest sterilization center.

CinderChicken 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:49

Clearly, the OP hit enter before they finished typing. I imagine the whole thing would read: "Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet, because my jaw got wired shut and I need the specific vitamins in mangos to survive. Turns out, the only way to absorb them is to now use my whole mango as a suppository. FML." -or something to that effect. :D

idiotkid 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:53

Oh wow. Yeah, **** your life. This is just horrible.

BrownSugar_fml 5

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:55

loving 21's comment!!! lol

Stumblebum30 5

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:56

This is no FML OP. Post again when you have a real fml. and who the hell approved this one?

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Love Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 114

The Top

Today, my fiancé walked out on me saying he loved me dearly, but not enough to continue parenting my three kids from my previous marriage because they hate him, he now hates them, and they’re not his problem to continue dealing with. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 730

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 086

You deserved it 3 416

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 612

You deserved it 6 080

Today, I was in the car with my parents' friends. I was in the back with my window down when I felt something strange hit my ear. I then realized that the person sitting in front of me was picking their scab and throwing it out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 809

You deserved it 2 640

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 717

You deserved it 2 759

Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 675

You deserved it 2 511