Intimacy, Awkward and Miscellaneous: Creepy

Creepy

By Anonymous - 17/10/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 079

You deserved it 5 358

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Same thing different taste

By helpme - 15/07/2013 17:25 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 572

You deserved it 4 664

Why I did that?

By Anonymous - 29/02/2020 14:00

Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 853

By blahblah493 - 26/05/2011 04:15 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 085

You deserved it 6 640

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:16 - United States - Clermont

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 989

You deserved it 42 025

Oh, so sexy

By quarantine15 - 28/04/2020 14:00

Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 698

By blondessdoll - 04/05/2016 17:30 - United States

Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 832

You deserved it 1 111

By U_U - 20/10/2013 19:20 - United States

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 099

You deserved it 5 138

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 527

Hairy situation

By Kelly - 02/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said, "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 020

You deserved it 9 464

By she knows - 08/10/2013 16:30 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 206

You deserved it 3 302

JustKittyKat 24

Tuesday 2 October 2012 11:46

Attempt to be social and funny: fail. Initiate plan B; Silently rip off stranger's pubic hair.

surfbumblonde 7

Tuesday 2 October 2012 11:49

The word "snatch" lives up to its two meanings here.

Comments

rebelliousshroom 12

Tuesday 2 October 2012 22:57

I don't see the problem, it was obviously a joke...

WrongRomance 11

Tuesday 2 October 2012 23:07

Sounds like that's going to end up being quite an expensive waxing appointment.

heartemopants 18

Tuesday 2 October 2012 23:08

Am I the only one who thought that was funny? Great conversational starter.

shark_girl 9

Tuesday 2 October 2012 23:27

This depends on how all those pregnancy hormones on treating you--we might have to pity the lady, if you were feeling irritable today.

EricaJoy 0

Tuesday 2 October 2012 23:39

Omfg!

marls 4

Tuesday 2 October 2012 23:50

Hahaha I'm pregnant too and that jst made me lol, thanks, u made my day :)

jmayes414 5

Tuesday 2 October 2012 23:51

I think it's a little different in this situation. You have to cross a certain barrier to give or receive a bikini wax, I'm sure.

PipingMouse 14

Wednesday 3 October 2012 0:36

That was supposed to be a comment to 73's comment...How about you try again?

Addieball13 6

Wednesday 3 October 2012 0:43

That is veryyyy creepy!

twinkiefeets 17

Wednesday 3 October 2012 1:35

Being pregnant can be very sexy

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 813

You deserved it 9 769

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 087

You deserved it 2 489

The Top

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 125

You deserved it 44 812

Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must have been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 033

You deserved it 13 944

Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 264

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 022

You deserved it 5 681

Today, I tested a new drug designed to fight headaches. It had quite an effect on me, more specifically side effects: nausea, dizzyness and diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 353

You deserved it 4 770

Today, my boyfriend told me he still has the key to our mailbox, while being at the other part of the country. Not to worry though, he sent it over. By mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 834

You deserved it 2 207