Intimacy, Awkward and Miscellaneous: Creepy

Creepy

By Anonymous - 17/10/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 079

You deserved it 5 358

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Same thing different taste

By helpme - 15/07/2013 17:25 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 572

You deserved it 4 664

Why I did that?

By Anonymous - 29/02/2020 14:00

Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 853

By blahblah493 - 26/05/2011 04:15 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 085

You deserved it 6 640

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:16 - United States - Clermont

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 989

You deserved it 42 025

Oh, so sexy

By quarantine15 - 28/04/2020 14:00

Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 698

By blondessdoll - 04/05/2016 17:30 - United States

Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 832

You deserved it 1 111

By U_U - 20/10/2013 19:20 - United States

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 099

You deserved it 5 138

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 527

Hairy situation

By Kelly - 02/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said, "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 020

You deserved it 9 464

By she knows - 08/10/2013 16:30 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 206

You deserved it 3 302

JustKittyKat 24

Tuesday 2 October 2012 11:46

Attempt to be social and funny: fail. Initiate plan B; Silently rip off stranger's pubic hair.

surfbumblonde 7

Tuesday 2 October 2012 11:49

The word "snatch" lives up to its two meanings here.

Comments

zombiekitten87 12

Tuesday 2 October 2012 17:44

Omg that's terrifying lol

kanggaru 2

Tuesday 2 October 2012 18:07

that awkward moment when you go get a wax and you get your sense of humor waxed off too

hotcaligirl 10

Tuesday 2 October 2012 18:24

Oh man waxing while preggers???? I hardly wax during that time of the month, let alone pregnant! Skin is so much more sensitive..

onorexveritas 23

Tuesday 2 October 2012 18:26

that's.... kind of uncalled for

kjklopu 1

Tuesday 2 October 2012 18:30

The answer is no u cant be sexy when ur pregnant

julianhyde 5

Tuesday 2 October 2012 21:20

Are you kidding me?! That I'd single-handedly the BEST ice-breaker I've ever heard!! She rocks and you're just being overly sensitive.

shark_girl 9

Tuesday 2 October 2012 23:31

She's pregnant, oversensitivity is one of the most common "side effects". Unfortunately.

septembers_over_fml 2

Tuesday 2 October 2012 21:44

I didnt know that was possible...

lilmisslivid 0

Tuesday 2 October 2012 22:18

I was gonna make a hide yo kids joke but it seemed inappropriate

shark_girl 9

Tuesday 2 October 2012 23:29

LOL...yeah, I think the waxer-woman already found them...

siickman 7

Tuesday 2 October 2012 22:19

Im guessing 77 didnt see that movie guys...

melimeli628 10

Tuesday 2 October 2012 22:46

hardcore fisting right there

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The Top

Today, I took my 8 year-old daughter to an airplane museum to show her the kinds of aircraft I’ve worked on during my 30+ year career. In the first 15 minutes, I had grease on my new shirt, bumped my head, spilled coffee and cut my hand. Sums up my career. Only 10 more years to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 237

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 198

The Top

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 764

You deserved it 5 610

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 765

You deserved it 8 263

Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing. I think I'm dating a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 424

You deserved it 5 265

Today, I realized anytime I try to say anything, relatives will talk over me, change the subject, or go off on tangents about ancient family history that I don't want to hear for the 1000th time. Yet if I interrupt them once, I'm the bad one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 103

Today, without realizing it, I just overstepped what is known in business as "The Competence Zone." Now any work that needs to get done properly (AKA all of it) is foisted off onto my overworked ass because I'm the only one who can do the work both competently and quickly. All I did was do the work I was given. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 144

Today, I was looking through an old box of personal artwork when I realised the entire box was damp. This was all my own art from the past 3 years, smudged and smelling of cat urine. I was supposed to showcase some of it in a competition winning gallery this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 604

You deserved it 398