Intimacy, Awkward and Miscellaneous: Creepy

Creepy

By Anonymous - 17/10/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 079

You deserved it 5 358

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Same thing different taste

By helpme - 15/07/2013 17:25 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 572

You deserved it 4 664

Why I did that?

By Anonymous - 29/02/2020 14:00

Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 853

By blahblah493 - 26/05/2011 04:15 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 085

You deserved it 6 640

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:16 - United States - Clermont

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 989

You deserved it 42 025

Oh, so sexy

By quarantine15 - 28/04/2020 14:00

Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 698

By blondessdoll - 04/05/2016 17:30 - United States

Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 832

You deserved it 1 111

By U_U - 20/10/2013 19:20 - United States

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 099

You deserved it 5 138

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 527

Hairy situation

By Kelly - 02/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said, "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 020

You deserved it 9 464

By she knows - 08/10/2013 16:30 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 206

You deserved it 3 302

JustKittyKat 24

Tuesday 2 October 2012 11:46

Attempt to be social and funny: fail. Initiate plan B; Silently rip off stranger's pubic hair.

surfbumblonde 7

Tuesday 2 October 2012 11:49

The word "snatch" lives up to its two meanings here.

Comments

PhishloverA 14

Tuesday 2 October 2012 13:53

She'll be fisting you to the max trying to get the baby out OP! Then you can blame the woman for any birth defects your premature baby may have. I'm totally kidding

loohoozuuhuur 13

Tuesday 2 October 2012 14:20

That comment is so out of order... :-S

ALuminousHusky 5

Tuesday 2 October 2012 14:59

Some people are just messed up like him for writing that.

fadingaway 17

Tuesday 2 October 2012 14:03

Seriously, OP? That's funny.

aishahasaFML 4

Tuesday 2 October 2012 14:12

you're not meant to have bikini waxes when you're pregnant.

KatjaM 15

Tuesday 2 October 2012 14:36

And why is that..?

piinksock 17

Tuesday 17 October 2017 11:32

Having worked as a beauty therapist and also being on the receiving end of a bikini wax while pregnant, I can tell you it's fine, mostly. There can be swelling and even varicose veins in the vulva towards the end of a pregnancy and then you have a higher risk of injury bleeding etc. It's not necessarily pregnancy, just using common sense if you have any genital symptoms.

thats_my_job 11

Tuesday 2 October 2012 15:53

Has to do with blood flow according to a woman who had one when she was 9 months pregnant and it went wrong. It's not always safe for pregnant women. Say most waxes go right, I still wouldn't want to be the one that goes wrong.

toooldforthis 19

Tuesday 2 October 2012 14:47

I'm not sure showing your lady parts to a stranger is much better

toooldforthis 19

Tuesday 2 October 2012 14:48

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

walmartpaysme 15

Tuesday 2 October 2012 14:49

Off the top of her head? Yes. Decently clever? No. It's just creepy. I mean, there are a million things to talk about with a customer. She comes up with, "I could steal your baby if unwanted to. It sounds a lot like a threat to me.