Miscellaneous: Cue Shaggy

Cue Shaggy

By scully11 - 02/08/2011 18:36 - Canada

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 377

You deserved it 3 376

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Same thing different taste

Mad lad

By its still broken - 11/06/2015 00:13 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 684

You deserved it 1 980

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 03:07 - United States - Salem

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 627

You deserved it 2 118

By ugh - 04/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 443

You deserved it 1 120

Landlords gonna landlord

By Anonymous - 28/12/2022 15:00 - Germany

Today, our landlord came over to chop down our cherished apple tree. While doing so, he ate one of the apples, concurring that they really did taste excellent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 128

By dorianseiji - 11/03/2015 20:37 - France - Amiens

Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 330

You deserved it 6 844

Welcome to the neighborhood

By wtf dad - 03/03/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 650

You deserved it 2 342

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 717

You deserved it 3 660

By she sure has an arm. - 28/02/2013 11:57 - United States - Clinton

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 695

You deserved it 2 631

Growing

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 06:00

Today, I told my parents that I was planning a garden for my house. My child of a mother got upset and jealous, because, "When you were younger, you hated working outside with us." Sorry for maturing and developing new interests in the past 30 years, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 11:06 - United States - Maryville

Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I hate my neighbors' kids with a burning passion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 503

You deserved it 1 358

tsim_fml 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:06

Your dads the shit.

hollyman 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:05

Hahahhahaha owed by your father!!!!!!!!

Comments

britt93 7

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:23

I'm sorry, this story sounds fake to me, its just too set-up.

DawnMarie11 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:29

When your neighbor throws you apples make apple pie!?! Lmao this is hilarious!

annihil8or 15

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:32

Get a gun that fires coconuts and aim @ her house, she'll have plenty of dents to fix

KatyB_fml 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:36

haha.. I picture Peter in Family Guy.. sneaking away with his infamous giggle! This is hilarious!

anencephalic 14

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:45

Maybe OPs dad wanted to give peas a chance, eh?

Punkpoptart1119 20

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:46

#110: Wtf are you talking about?

xrainbowshadowx 17

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:47

Your dad is boss (:

briannac1 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:47

Your dad is a beast!

almathis1994 6

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:48

Isaac Newton really told you.

jellybellygirl 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:51

All I can imagine now is a grown man giggling as he silently tiptoes over back to his house. Bahaha, hilarious story. ;D

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I made a heart-shaped pancake for my girlfriend as a surprise Valentine's Day breakfast. I flipped it too hard, and it landed on my cat. The cat then ran around the house with a pancake cape, and the surprise was ruined by the cat bolting into the bedroom, waking my girlfriend up, who's not a morning person at the best of times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 132

Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 190

The Top

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 511

You deserved it 33 861

Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 043

You deserved it 4 760

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 132

You deserved it 20 736

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 587

You deserved it 50 278

Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 150

Today, we were in line to ride Cosmic Rewind when it broke down. My mom and sister then got mad at me saying that I "wasted everyone’s time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 88