Poopoo peepee, Clothes and Animals: Customized

Customized

By gss - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 515

You deserved it 2 280

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

Glade

By stinkystinky - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 941

You deserved it 967

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 287

You deserved it 2 717

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

Brain fog

By FlyingCoffeeMonster - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Oreland

Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 062

You deserved it 3 219

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 9 674

Creeped out

By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 958

You deserved it 6 217

Jump scare

By izzy46111 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 479

You deserved it 5 317

Tasty

By chew toy - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I went to see my sister and took a couple of dog biscuits for her dog. I forgot about them until later when I realised I had a hole in my pocket, near my crotch. The dog pointed this out by chomping my balls to get to the biscuits. My attempts to remove him resulted in more vigorous chewing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 552

You deserved it 962

Compacted

By RatFailure - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 948

You deserved it 3 857

Never enough

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 205

You deserved it 3 951

ericwashere 0

Monday 19 September 2011 16:17

Thats what you get for not living in an ice fortress

BBGxBlondie 6

Monday 19 September 2011 16:32

Nobody HAS to say it. You CHOSE to make an ass out of yourself.

Comments

RavagedSouI 0

Monday 19 September 2011 16:15

This story is so nuts, it is practically unbelievable

deadroad 5

Monday 19 September 2011 16:15

aw that would annoy me to

BrianAlarcon 0

Monday 19 September 2011 16:16

Damnn/:

iloveparc 0

Monday 19 September 2011 16:17

hahahahaha yoouuu suuucckk

ericwashere 0

Monday 19 September 2011 16:17

Thats what you get for not living in an ice fortress

Jdeluxh 12

Monday 19 September 2011 16:17

Somebody has to say it: What a shitty situation.

BBGxBlondie 6

Monday 19 September 2011 16:32

Nobody HAS to say it. You CHOSE to make an ass out of yourself.

smirnoff1695 0

Monday 19 September 2011 16:18

How can you just leave a hole in the roof? That sounds quite inconvenient. Well I'm sorry op.

MagicallyFat 12

Monday 19 September 2011 16:19

Most dads can be quite awful and unpleasant

DoctorKyda 5

Monday 19 September 2011 16:20

With a kid like you, I can see why your dad would make you think that.

smirnoff1695 0

Monday 19 September 2011 16:24

I like my dad:)

RavagedSouI 0

Monday 19 September 2011 16:25

Like father like son. Your dad probably hates you too 9 :/

DocBastard 38

Monday 19 September 2011 16:44

MagicallyFat, I love my kids more than life itself, and I would go to the ends of the Earth for them. Obviously your father has treated you poorly, and for that I truly feel sorry for you. My father is a wonderful, caring man, and I can only hope that I will be the same for my kids as they grow up.

Alleged_Cranium 7

Monday 19 September 2011 16:53

Moms can be bitches

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Monday 19 September 2011 19:00

9- Be happy you have a father. Mine overdosed on heroin when I was 4 years old. Though he may not be the greatest guy in the world, he's your dad, and there'll be a day when he isn't around anymore, so cherish the moments you do have with him.

MagicallyFat 12

Monday 19 September 2011 19:52

Lol guys I said MOST dads can be unpleasant clearly his dad is. I like my dad lol

DoctorKyda 5

Tuesday 20 September 2011 2:47

And how do you know most dads are terrible, if yours isn't? I don't see the 'lol' here. So OP's dad ****** up once. That makes him horrible? Geez, talk about high standards. No wonder your dad doesn't like you, kid.