Poopoo peepee, Clothes and Animals: Customized

Customized

By gss - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 515

You deserved it 2 280

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Glade

By stinkystinky - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 941

You deserved it 967

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 287

You deserved it 2 717

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

Brain fog

By FlyingCoffeeMonster - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Oreland

Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 062

You deserved it 3 219

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 9 674

Creeped out

By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 958

You deserved it 6 217

Jump scare

By izzy46111 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 479

You deserved it 5 317

Tasty

By chew toy - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I went to see my sister and took a couple of dog biscuits for her dog. I forgot about them until later when I realised I had a hole in my pocket, near my crotch. The dog pointed this out by chomping my balls to get to the biscuits. My attempts to remove him resulted in more vigorous chewing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 552

You deserved it 962

Compacted

By RatFailure - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 948

You deserved it 3 857

Never enough

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 205

You deserved it 3 951

ericwashere 0

Monday 19 September 2011 16:17

Thats what you get for not living in an ice fortress

BBGxBlondie 6

Monday 19 September 2011 16:32

Nobody HAS to say it. You CHOSE to make an ass out of yourself.

Comments

iRiS890 5

Monday 19 September 2011 18:04

This might be a tad off subject... But has anyone actually ever seen a squirrel poop??? No! And it's all because they've been using closets. Check that off the list of things I need to google.

FrecklesXO 8

Monday 19 September 2011 18:20

I know this sounds crazy, but there's these things called washers. You put laundry detergent in there with your sweatshirt and it cleans it with just a push of a button! If my husband's ACU's can survive all the crap he's had to roll around in, then some squirrel shit should be no problem.

jlstough 10

Monday 19 September 2011 18:53

i second this. if i managed to get all of the goat blood out of my husbands acus after bct3, a little squirrel shit shouldn't be hard to wash away. use a little shout, it works wonders.

FrecklesXO 8

Monday 19 September 2011 19:01

Right!? I just got the husband's box home from Afghaniland and was able to get a lot of nasty crap out. He even left me a note that said "good luck." Haha

jlstough 10

Monday 19 September 2011 19:10

Oh gosh, haha. My husband will be home on R&R soon and he has warned me way in advance that he has a few things he wants to wash. By he, he means me, of course, but I don't mind. It can't be anywheres near as bad as the last batch I washed before he deployed. He had been wearing the same PT's and athletic socks for a week /dies