Intimacy: Nice day for it

Nice day for it

By peachykeen - 15/02/2016 01:05 - United States - Savannah

Today, the most action I had on Valentine's day was a homeless guy pulling his dick out at me as I walked home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 062

You deserved it 1 931

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Same thing different taste

By scarredforlife - 16/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 494

You deserved it 5 039

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 817

You deserved it 6 812

By :| - 16/04/2011 02:04 - Canada

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 644

You deserved it 6 376

Vanilla Ice

By NotInterested - 23/08/2013 06:23 - United States

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 094

You deserved it 4 637

Oh, hai Mark!

By scarredforlife - 12/02/2016 09:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 390

You deserved it 1 831

By NoNaMe - 04/06/2009 08:07 - Australia

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 641

You deserved it 75 204

Consider the offer

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 124

By Melaknee - 19/03/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 453

You deserved it 149 791

Free hugs

By Anonymous - 25/07/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 672

You deserved it 53 189

By Anonymous - 27/06/2009 08:20 - Japan

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138 514

You deserved it 10 418

Talis99 26

Monday 15 February 2016 12:18

More than I got.

whatarethisss 23

Monday 15 February 2016 12:19

I guess he was trying to get some action on Valentine's Day too.

Comments

Talis99 26

Monday 15 February 2016 12:18

More than I got.

ColonelCusswords 24

Monday 15 February 2016 12:42

Length or girth

Dale_shackleford 13

Monday 15 February 2016 15:45

Maybe he meant the homeless guy was more charming than him and therefore gets more sex.

coops456 14

Monday 15 February 2016 16:10

I think you read this wrong too #20

Mahtari 19

Monday 15 February 2016 16:28

Same

Cadillac_kid_15 27

Monday 15 February 2016 12:18

Brain bleach

Ms_ValS 27

Tuesday 16 February 2016 2:18

What more were you expecting from him? Come on he's homeless for God's sake. He did what he could OP.

tintarroja 31

Monday 15 February 2016 12:19

Better than nothing!

whatarethisss 23

Monday 15 February 2016 12:19

I guess he was trying to get some action on Valentine's Day too.

JZY1989 23

Monday 15 February 2016 12:27

well at least it was something.

A07 48

Monday 15 February 2016 12:30

sound like a great end to valentines day

fsomelife 26

Monday 15 February 2016 12:32

A master of suspense!!

fsomelife 26

Monday 15 February 2016 12:35

Ah, dammit, you edited your comment

A07 48

Monday 15 February 2016 12:36

So next year it'll be two homeless guys?

pandemonium307 10

Monday 15 February 2016 12:37

You sad because his was bigger?

snarkytruth 37

Monday 15 February 2016 12:39

At least he didn't accidentally hit you with some Valentine souvenir as you walked past to remember him by.

ColonelCusswords 24

Monday 15 February 2016 12:40

How romantic

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 080

The Top

Today, I got out of a psych ward. I lied and said I was better, just so I could leave because it was that awful… but the truth is that I'm worse than when I went in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 235

Today, I found out I did so horrible during my interview that I didn’t even get a rejection email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 261

Today, my boyfriend told me about a girl who he loved a few years ago. He said, "She was extremely beautiful, and I fell for her for a long time. But it's like with universities, everyone wants to study at Harvard but finally ends up in a regular university that they can afford." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 182

You deserved it 117

Today, after three interviews, I accepted an offer for my dream job and submitted my notice. The company called me to say they couldn't contact my referees and have now withdrawn the offer. I'm now officially unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 206

Today, I noticed that my 80-year-old mother has gone through 50+ bottles of my home-made wine. She only moved in with me a month ago. And now I have no wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 214

You deserved it 233

Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 454

Nice day for it

Same thing different taste

Vanilla Ice

Oh, hai Mark!

Consider the offer

Free hugs

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