Intimacy: Dates that matter

Dates that matter

By mee - 19/02/2012 11:37 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend sang "Happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembers the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 887

You deserved it 4 668

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Same thing different taste

By blower - 11/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 855

You deserved it 9 302

Our anniversary

By Anonymous - 27/12/2019 20:00

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 498

You deserved it 509

Thanks, babe

By Anonymous - 14/12/2020 17:58 - Canada - Moncton

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 121

By cek4uytp - 25/06/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 786

You deserved it 18 612

By zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments - 01/02/2014 08:11 - United States - Montgomery

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 150

You deserved it 6 419

By Forgotten - 09/08/2010 14:38 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 251

You deserved it 28 626

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 970

You deserved it 3 693

Brain worms

By JaneSimple - 16/08/2020 14:02

Today, my fiancé forgot my birthday. I did however remember to tell him we were sending his mother flowers, for her birthday, which falls a week after mine. We've been together 10 years. I sent her flowers on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 232

By Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 828

You deserved it 53 763

No gifts for you

By Birthdaypoop - 20/06/2022 12:00

Today, it’s my birthday. Not only did my boyfriend of 5 years forget, when I reminded him, he said very unenthusiastically, “Oh, Happy Birthday.” When I said, “That’s it?” he got annoyed and said,“Well, what else do you want me to tell you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 1 255

drawmesunshine 17

Sunday 19 February 2012 19:20

In his defense, he didn't play an active role in your birth, making it harder to remember.

fthislyfe 22

Sunday 19 February 2012 19:24

Still a better love story that twilight

Comments

babelord 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 21:10

for next year

iloveweed69 7

Sunday 19 February 2012 21:12

Well happy birthday to your ******~

Tommay186 7

Sunday 19 February 2012 21:18

Ahahahahhahaahha. FYL OP

AgaveLoco 5

Sunday 19 February 2012 21:23

I hope did not take photos of the birthday party

Enslaved 36

Sunday 19 February 2012 22:02

Was there cake?

j_cat187 19

Monday 20 February 2012 4:06

No, although there was pie.

bubo_fml 10

Sunday 19 February 2012 22:08

Return the favor to him by singing happy birthday to his dick. If you don't get a standing ovation for your performance, kick it!

Unlucky_Gun 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 22:26

Hahaha

themaddoctor 11

Sunday 19 February 2012 22:41

Return the favor by remembering his birthday and say your on your period.

bizarre_ftw 21

Monday 20 February 2012 0:11

Please tell me this is an attempt at trolling >.< Seriously please

buck33 14

Sunday 19 February 2012 22:57

18 - no, it's relevant. The end.

fthislyfe 22

Sunday 19 February 2012 23:28

83: No it's not. And you're retarded

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Work Awkward AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Annoying Family Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Cute Sleep Animals Dogs Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 1 921

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week, they fired me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door, with a note that said "If not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60, and my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 549

You deserved it 2 738

The Top

Today, I was at the McDonalds drive-thru getting my morning coffee, when some guy slammed into the back of my car. I'm so happy I was holding the cup between my legs at that very moment, because now I have 2nd degree burns on my lady parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 500

You deserved it 7 319

Today, my wedding celebration came to an awkward pause when my dad slapped my mom across the face and called her a whore after she admitted to having an affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 173

You deserved it 1 878

Today, my sister started lactating through her shirt post-breastfeeding at a family brunch. My husband, who gets turned on by pregnant women since he gets the most action during my pregnancies, visibly ogled her at the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 727

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 374

You deserved it 6 166

Today, I got accused of trying to steal clothes because I was taking so long in the fitting rooms with only a couple of items. I got stuck in one of the shirts I was trying on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 359

You deserved it 5 397

Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 052

You deserved it 9 061