Sex, Music and Intimacy: DJ Perfectionist

DJ Perfectionist

By ImOverHere - 02/09/2012 16:56 - United States - Whitehouse

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 036

You deserved it 3 104

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hi Honey, I'm home

By seminole711 - 20/09/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 132

You deserved it 6 972

The best laid plans…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 18:00

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by cooking her dinner. I spent hours preparing and making sure everything was perfect. I lit candles, set the table, and even put on some soft music. When she came home, she'd already eaten and wasn't hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 150

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 820

You deserved it 4 157

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 305

You deserved it 4 750

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 353

You deserved it 6 226

By nudesurprise - 16/04/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 926

You deserved it 35 109

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 945

You deserved it 50 950

So frustrating!

By Justawoman - 04/06/2014 15:52 - Denmark - Aarhus

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 577

You deserved it 8 638

Loverman

By dating a manchild - 01/06/2012 23:50 - Denmark - Hellerup

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 890

You deserved it 7 386

By boyfriendisatoss - 26/12/2009 07:22 - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 501

You deserved it 5 107

DocBastard 38

Sunday 2 September 2012 23:00

It takes approximately 0.285 seconds to realise that "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye is the best mood music ever. EVER.

shireman97 6

Sunday 2 September 2012 22:58

That's some odd foreplay

Comments

jburd45 1

Sunday 2 September 2012 23:09

Barry white

Ergayles 9

Sunday 2 September 2012 23:15

Marvin Gaye, Barry White, Teddy Pendergrass :)

Sarcastic_x 6

Sunday 2 September 2012 23:17

I do.

Marcella1016 31

Sunday 2 September 2012 23:22

The same thing happens with me and ****.

FMLKitten 15

Monday 3 September 2012 0:48

You should meet my guys' friend named Jill! I hear she gives free handjobs.

thatnucca 36

Sunday 2 September 2012 23:30

OP's name says it all... As of the time she was writing this post, he was still looking... Smdh

SoultheWolf 19

Sunday 2 September 2012 23:33

Does your boyfriend not realize that a song only lasts for a few minutes while the momment can last hours?

thatnucca 36

Sunday 2 September 2012 23:35

Nope, not if the song lasts longer than OP's boyfriend though...

carmel1110 12

Sunday 2 September 2012 23:38

Happens to me all the time when I want to put music while having sex with my bf xD I should make a playlist

awkward_gothlady 32

Sunday 2 September 2012 23:41

Guess that's where having a few pre-made sexy playlists can come in handy.

Kibaruto 33

Sunday 2 September 2012 23:48

He's just trying to find a song called "I'm just not that in to you", though "not that INTO you" sounds more fitting.

fourthfour 1

Thursday 6 September 2012 6:26

Good for you!

medichick 5

Sunday 2 September 2012 23:51

What a mood killer:(

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Love AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 869

You deserved it 3 514

Okaeri! I hope you had a great week out in the cold (most of our southern hemisphere friends don't know what they're missing). Personally, since I discovered this website I couldn't have been better. This week we're welcoming an atypical artist sinc...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 11

The Top

Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 155

You deserved it 4 930

Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 010

You deserved it 7 763

Today, my wife admitted she has fallen in love with a guy who delivers milk and other dairy to our local shop. She is literally cheating on me with the milkman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 163

Today, I found out a recent hook-up, who’d pounded the fuck out of me until I came all over didn’t get uncomfortable and ghost me “because he was just a fuck boy.” It was probably because a noticeable, large part of the sweat/squirt spot on my bed after, was actually my own piss, I just didn’t smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 1 315

Today, I found out my boyfriend made a move to hook up with my best friend. She was about to reciprocate, only for him to suddenly tell her that she’s a horrible friend, and then he told me about it. I’m not sure if I should be picking sides here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 712

You deserved it 216

Today, I found male enhancers hidden in the back of the car, which I'm assuming are my husband's, but we haven't been having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 693

You deserved it 373