Poopoo peepee, Neighbours and Miscellaneous: Don't mind me

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 12:38 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 013

You deserved it 3 396

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Same thing different taste

By EwwGross - 31/08/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 538

You deserved it 1 956

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 193

You deserved it 241

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 698

You deserved it 3 927

Vengeance is mine

By shitty neighbor - 25/07/2021 10:01 - United States

Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 483

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 11:00

Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 66

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 391

You deserved it 50 988

By wildwonder808 - 12/08/2013 22:47 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 411

You deserved it 8 069

By assassinmaster - 04/05/2017 04:00

Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 918

You deserved it 438

By cheddar - 20/07/2011 22:17 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 2 639

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 03:07 - United States - Salem

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 625

You deserved it 2 118

zingline89 18

Monday 16 April 2012 18:58

Would you prefer U Pee S?

mduffy08 8

Monday 16 April 2012 18:55

Did you have any mail?

Comments

irishbohemian 0

Tuesday 17 April 2012 2:19

Just to make it right, you have to piss on his doorknob.

eileenrj 4

Tuesday 17 April 2012 2:42

Wow wtf did you do to make him mad

lunax_fml 14

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:03

im not going to vote on this one since I feel like I need to take into account his side of the story. seriously, what did you do to him?

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:04

Territory = Marked.

lilny5613 10

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:39

Wow I said that so plz dont blame me if u think im copying u

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 17 April 2012 4:28

Oh, my bad. :) I didn't read any of the comments before posting.

jacquesromualdez 12

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:19

Lookout! We got a badass over here!

RoadKill67a 4

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:26

Pull out your airsoft guns and shoot him

angelinaanimerg 7

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:35

call the police. he will get registered as a sex offender for being such a douche

lilny5613 10

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:37

He was marking his territory! Lol

Cuselaxer22 0

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:59

I can just imagine a piss showdown between you two. Let the games begin!

hama806 19

Tuesday 17 April 2012 4:04

LMAO!! FYL!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weddings Awkward Love My ex Friends AITA Jealousy Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Relatable Mental health Therapy Covid Argument Parenting Kids Thanksgiving Ironic Medication Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Work

The Top

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 203

You deserved it 17 042

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 1 054

The Top

Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 016

You deserved it 3 070

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 870

You deserved it 57 057

Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 287

You deserved it 5 386

Today, after spending thousands of dollars and several years pursuing a higher education so I could get a high paying job doing something that requires skill and brainpower, I finally got my first job offer after months of searching. I will be cleaning houses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 657

You deserved it 5 838

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 663

You deserved it 3 753

Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 538

You deserved it 3 677