Poopoo peepee, Neighbours and Miscellaneous: Don't mind me

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 12:38 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 009

You deserved it 3 394

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Same thing different taste

By EwwGross - 31/08/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 536

You deserved it 1 954

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 189

You deserved it 238

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 697

You deserved it 3 926

Vengeance is mine

By shitty neighbor - 25/07/2021 10:01 - United States

Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 481

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 11:00

Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 65

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 391

You deserved it 50 985

By wildwonder808 - 12/08/2013 22:47 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 410

You deserved it 8 068

By assassinmaster - 04/05/2017 04:00

Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 918

You deserved it 437

By cheddar - 20/07/2011 22:17 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 443

You deserved it 2 639

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 03:07 - United States - Salem

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 621

You deserved it 2 118

zingline89 18

Monday 16 April 2012 18:58

Would you prefer U Pee S?

mduffy08 8

Monday 16 April 2012 18:55

Did you have any mail?

Comments

irishbohemian 0

Tuesday 17 April 2012 2:19

Just to make it right, you have to piss on his doorknob.

eileenrj 4

Tuesday 17 April 2012 2:42

Wow wtf did you do to make him mad

lunax_fml 14

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:03

im not going to vote on this one since I feel like I need to take into account his side of the story. seriously, what did you do to him?

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:04

Territory = Marked.

lilny5613 10

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:39

Wow I said that so plz dont blame me if u think im copying u

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 17 April 2012 4:28

Oh, my bad. :) I didn't read any of the comments before posting.

jacquesromualdez 12

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:19

Lookout! We got a badass over here!

RoadKill67a 4

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:26

Pull out your airsoft guns and shoot him

angelinaanimerg 7

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:35

call the police. he will get registered as a sex offender for being such a douche

lilny5613 10

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:37

He was marking his territory! Lol

Cuselaxer22 0

Tuesday 17 April 2012 3:59

I can just imagine a piss showdown between you two. Let the games begin!

hama806 19

Tuesday 17 April 2012 4:04

LMAO!! FYL!

Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Weekend Parents Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Argument Roommate Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, I started keeping track. From 7 am to 8:30 pm, my wife, my 11 year-old son, and my 9 year-old daughter screamed for my help 154 times. Every time, it was the most mundane, trivial shit that they could have solved with a nanosecond of critical thinking, but no, easier to bother Dad for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 170

Today, I got absolutely hammered and noticed this familiar-looking chick. I walked up to her and said, "Oh my god, I know I know you but I don't know where from." Looking annoyed, she replied, "We've worked together for months." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 2 849

The Top

Today, I've been getting terrifying threats all day. Why? I broke up with my girlfriend and turned her in to the police after she and her friends shared their plan to firebomb a church during Sunday school. I didn't know I was dating a terrorist. I might need a new identity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 111

Today, after over a dozen separate blood tests, my doctor told me conclusively that my results are perfectly normal for a middle-aged woman in the early stages of pregnancy. Problem is, I’m a 24-year-old guy, so my doctor is very concerned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 360

You deserved it 125

Today, my boyfriend, a math teacher, wanted to recite multiplication timetables while making love in order to come less quickly. He could only recite up to the number 5 because as it turns out, the timetables actually turn him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 181

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 516

You deserved it 5 096

Today, my boyfriend and I flew to another country to see a concert. He said he'd carry all the cash and tickets in his wallet, so I left my bag at the hotel. He got so drunk, five minutes into the show he took off leaving me stranded in a strange city with no means of getting back to the hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 679

You deserved it 11 884

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 144

You deserved it 2 474