Love: Double dump

Double dump

By dumped - 10/03/2011 21:42 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 529

You deserved it 4 028

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/05/2015 17:20 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 951

You deserved it 2 774

By musicyman55 - 19/12/2009 07:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 662

You deserved it 3 052

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 312

You deserved it 3 866

By fucklife - 16/04/2013 18:13 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 542

You deserved it 5 210

It's for the best

By yesguysgetabusedtoo - 24/05/2013 23:42 - New Zealand - Papamoa

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 620

You deserved it 6 950

By kukadaman - 15/03/2010 06:19 - United States

Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 620

You deserved it 2 390

By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 895

You deserved it 3 067

By dharp7 - 16/11/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 092

You deserved it 3 764

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 775

You deserved it 2 890

By ddll - 05/09/2011 01:27 - Singapore

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 12 326

Gurljuice 0

Friday 11 March 2011 0:02

She doubled her relief

sassypants93 17

Friday 11 March 2011 0:02

That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.

Comments

persianjr1 7

Friday 11 March 2011 0:06

maybe she was watering a plant while pooping?

persianjr1 7

Friday 11 March 2011 0:08

sorry didn't mean to post that*

younoy 1

Saturday 26 March 2011 23:40

#12 that's some hot profile pic!

missory_missouri 0

Friday 11 March 2011 0:07

Don't worry, OP, she'll be fine.

stephanie911_fml 0

Friday 11 March 2011 0:07

that's how much you mean to her! 

ROFLBERRYPIE 0

Friday 11 March 2011 2:00

So I've heard.

jellyybeans 5

Friday 11 March 2011 3:47

lol, three's a charm.

Taz_the_Spaz 0

Friday 11 March 2011 5:09

Please don't tell me i'm the only one seeing a smiling pile of shit up there.

brianna3194 0

Friday 11 March 2011 6:03



nbk1405 0

Friday 11 March 2011 7:55

rofl

VivaLaCobra22 0

Friday 11 March 2011 0:09

well that's a crappy situation. ZING!

theaws0m3guy 4

Friday 11 March 2011 2:04

^ WIN so much!

SkateElement44 0

Friday 11 March 2011 5:00

So much pun!

persianjr1 7

Friday 11 March 2011 0:10

I can't tell if she was having sex or pooping!!!

carnage1106 0

Friday 11 March 2011 3:36

I thought the same thing

persianjr1 7

Friday 11 March 2011 3:52

true. haha

alex1432 9

Friday 11 March 2011 6:56

106, your pic is ******* hilarious!

Djahcrap 0

Friday 11 March 2011 0:11

That must have been a SHITTY relationship. AND THEY KEEP ON COMING!

hahahaha19 0

Friday 11 March 2011 3:33

too funny!!!

haha1494 0

Friday 11 March 2011 4:05

win!

fkeeler1266 0

Friday 11 March 2011 4:36

that was pretty good i gotta admit hahahaha

contralucem 0

Friday 11 March 2011 0:19

she sounds charming

persianjr1 7

Friday 11 March 2011 0:22

was she pooping or cheating?

sweet_candy_ 17

Friday 11 March 2011 0:24

This is sad.Some people have no respect for others :(

sgenfkshe 5

Friday 11 March 2011 0:32

bothh:)

Keywords

Love Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Miscellaneous Relatable Work You're fired Cars Kids Parenting Cats DIY Family Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Anxiety

The Top

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 248

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 003

You deserved it 42 708

The Top

Today, I was working Customer Service at Wal Mart. An elderly lady came to my register to return a pair of white pants. I asked her what was wrong with them and she replied "even when I had underwear on you could still see my pubic hair." The pants had hair on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 452

You deserved it 3 279

Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 892

You deserved it 5 675

Today, in our microbiology lab, there's a machine called bacteria incubator, which translates to Arabic as "bacteria hugger." I envied the bacteria because it gets hugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 252

Today, after being upset at the fact that my phone was stolen at work, I received a note on my locker saying, "100 bucks and you get the phone back." My phone is being held for ransom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 271

You deserved it 1 922

Today, my long-distance boyfriend of three and a half years told me he was leaving me for a girl he met at his Uni, because, “I’m tired of jerking off all the time and I need intimacy.” He’s only known her for two months. So the three and a half years together meant nothing to him then? FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 483

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 793

You deserved it 6 360

Double dump

Same thing different taste

It's for the best

Top comments

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