Love: Double dump

Double dump

By dumped - 10/03/2011 21:42 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 529

You deserved it 4 028

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/05/2015 17:20 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 951

You deserved it 2 774

By musicyman55 - 19/12/2009 07:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 662

You deserved it 3 052

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 312

You deserved it 3 866

By fucklife - 16/04/2013 18:13 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 542

You deserved it 5 210

It's for the best

By yesguysgetabusedtoo - 24/05/2013 23:42 - New Zealand - Papamoa

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 620

You deserved it 6 950

By kukadaman - 15/03/2010 06:19 - United States

Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 620

You deserved it 2 390

By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 895

You deserved it 3 067

By dharp7 - 16/11/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 092

You deserved it 3 764

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 775

You deserved it 2 890

By ddll - 05/09/2011 01:27 - Singapore

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 12 326

Gurljuice 0

Friday 11 March 2011 0:02

She doubled her relief

sassypants93 17

Friday 11 March 2011 0:02

That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.

Comments

catieloulou 0

Friday 11 March 2011 1:09

I bet she was masterbating while taken a dump... I'm sorry OP that sucks... your better off not having to do with her shit ;)

xdust 4

Friday 11 March 2011 1:16

don't panic but I think she was having sex

Saddyohh 13

Friday 11 March 2011 1:17

Sorry but "strained pushing sounds" I need to let you go " plooop plooop" Ahhhh see I feel better already. Don't you? Feels like I've gotten a "load" off. Win for her.

skyttlz 32

Friday 11 March 2011 1:51

Rofl

xdust 4

Friday 11 March 2011 1:21

was she having sex of taking a shit? Someone please clarify!

Saddyohh 13

Friday 11 March 2011 1:24

A little constipated shit by the sound of it.

FreeDome_fml 0

Friday 11 March 2011 1:44

looks like you weren't the only thing.. (takes glasses off) being dumped. YYEEAAAHHHHH

carcinogan 0

Friday 11 March 2011 14:36

no. just go away in shame.

docscientist 9

Friday 11 March 2011 19:34

No, it was funny.

FreeDome_fml 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 16:22

I know, too much too much ):

jewels1877 0

Friday 11 March 2011 1:47

I see what you did thar.

guppy40000 0

Friday 11 March 2011 2:01

She sounds like a pig, dont sweat it. Everybody poops but to do it while on the phone and while dumping someone. Shes a pig.

Jackmangold 0

Friday 11 March 2011 2:05

so she literally dumped you over the phone.

hellogoodbye339 3

Friday 11 March 2011 2:08

that's shitty! haha you went through your girlfriend one way.. and out the other ;)

hellogoodbye339 3

Friday 11 March 2011 2:10

^lmaooo

lms0708 0

Friday 11 March 2011 3:42

did u just laugh at your own joke?

djsquintz 0

Friday 11 March 2011 15:53

I think she did.

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Haircut Cute Miscellaneous Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Technology Mental health

The Top

Today, it's only day three of my annual vacation. Rest and relaxation? Afraid not! For the past days, I've been haunted by the constant thought of how much work will be piled up when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 139

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 524

You deserved it 1 300

The Top

Today I broke my glasses beyond repair. I am very nearly legally blind. I get my glasses at Walmart and today, Christmas, is the only day out of the entire year that they are closed. Merry Christmas to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 570

You deserved it 1 072

Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 709

You deserved it 3 300

Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 725

You deserved it 778

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 132

You deserved it 3 934

Today, I went to my new dentist to get my teeth cleaned. He kept getting distracted, causing him to repeatedly stab me in the gums. He then had the nerve to tell me that I need to brush more, due to how I was bleeding just from his "routine examination". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 157

You deserved it 1 733

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 661

You deserved it 3 244

Double dump

Same thing different taste

It's for the best

Top comments

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